All posts by Chris Butera

Chris Butera enjoys going to metal concerts, reading and having a cold one with friends.
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End of An Era

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The Bonesaw has eviscerated its final victim.

For the past five years, we at this fine website have given you all podcasts, videos, and plenty of fresh articles to help turn your brains off after a long day at the operating table, and while we usually have an April Fool’s joke article, this one is not.

What began as a resume filler and a desire to learn and build something from the ground up has become more than just a passion project that never stopped giving (not just to its founder’s career and journey, but for its spectacular contributors as well).

This website helped make me who I am.

If it weren’t for The Bonesaw, I would have never gotten into podcasting. This was originally a way for me to catch up with my cool and interesting friends who also happened to be fellow musicians, and it turned into something completely different. The monotization wasn’t there, but that’s OK. I learned I could lead, create, and help others branch out and start podcasting, and writing too. Before I knew it, I was managing five and performing three, which I also wrote and recorded the theme songs for.

My editing skills improved too. I would copy edit what my faithful freelancers delivered, and, if I could find the time, discuss what I did and why I did it. It was a lot of fun, and I was able to do what I loved about what I wanted: music, pro wrestling, and movies.

At my current job, I am now podcasting and editing on a regular basis, as well as honing my craft in voiceover, a new passion I never would have found if it weren’t for podcasts and my love of music (all the years of yelling into a mic really does pay off).

If you were/are a regular visitor, you may have noticed very little to no fresh content lately, and that you may not have as much access to as many old podcasts on Soundcloud that you used to be. As our day-to-day responsibilities grow longer, it’s gotten harder to manage both my passions and what pays the bills while still trying to marry the two, so it’s time I do the inevitable.

It’s time to close the Bonesaw’s bloody gates.

I will still pay for the domain as it is incredibly cheap so that all former contributors could look back at their timeless work, unless a wealthy bone saw salesman and/or doctor needs a legitimate site (any six-figure sum will do).

I also want to show this place off to future employers as this could help a brother out down the road.

I’d like to thank everyone that was a part of this immaculate place in some way or another. I couldn’t have done it without you. I wish you the best on your future endeavors.

Eat, drink, and be merry.

– Chris Butera

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s WWE TLC 2018 Predictions

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The Last WWE PPV of 2018 is here! Which means the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania are coming fairly soon, which means WWE might actually get their try pants on and make some good television. To be fair I have seen many people who think TLC should be a fairly good event, but I felt the same way about Survivor Series before turning it off when Samoa Joe was eliminated within a minute in favor of Fallout 76. But hey, people don’t like that game but I love it, so perhaps I am just weird. There is a couple matches I am looking forward to, but there is 12 (TWELVE!!!??? WHY?????!!!) matches here so it will inevitably stall at some point. I’m Spaceman Frank and here are my TLC 2018 predictions!

Buddy Murphy (C) vs. Cedric Alexander (WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match)

I do not see any matches confirmed for the preshow, but this has to be on their right? Right??!! I Love Cedric, but his reign as Cruiserweight champ was pretty dull. Mustafa Ali has overtaken him as the goodest good boy of 205 Live. Watch his match with Daniel Bryan, you will not regret it. Meanwhile Buddy Murphy is still doing his best, which is pretty good. Not great, but he can carry his weight in the ring. I think the future Mr. Alexa Bliss wins again until they pull the trigger on the inevitable Ali title run.

Natalya vs .Ruby Riott (Tables Match)

This is another probable preshow match is technically the second most important women’s feud on Raw. I do not know anybody who cares about this rivalry though. This is another classic WWE trope of “some heel makes fun of a family member that passed away recently” story that would be offensive if I had energy to care. I guess Ruby wins because nothing will stop the Riott Squad from interfering? Yeah that feels right.

Elias vs. Bobby Lashley (Ladder with a Guitar instead of a title…match…We’ll call it the Jeff Jarrett Ladder Match)

I could see this as a likely preshow match, but I feel like it is just past being unimportant enough to make the preshow. Elias apparently has not won a PPV match all year which…sounds right.  Meanwhile Bobby Lashley beat Roman Reigns on PPV. We all remember that right? Or was it a fever dream? Anyway this stipulation is stupid and if it goes past five minutes I may fall asleep. Lashers wins because he is massive and hates guitars.

Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton (Chairs Match)

Two vets getting a paycheck. Is this really what Rey came back for? To wrestle someone he probably wrestled dozens of times before? I’ll pass. Randy wins cause he can.

Finn Balor vs. Drew McIntyre

Hey! Someone snuck a regular match in this gimmick PPV! Drew appears to have a rocket strapped to his back, and you know what? I’m into it. At least they are trying something new with someone with the skills to back it up. He may not be a future legend, but he can at least find his niche and run with it. All this will come at the expense of Finn, who didn’t ask to be shoved so far down the card but I do not see it ending anytime soon. Drew wins so he can keep moving up.

The Bar (C) vs. The New Day vs. Usos (Triple Threat Match for the WWE Tag Team Titles)

You know what would be swell? This match, at WrestleMania, in a TLC match as a callback to the WrestleMania X-7. As for this match, It should be a definite highlight of the night. These guys, sort of a horrendous rap battle, can do nothing wrong. Plus the Big Show is gone again so we do not have to worry about him slowlyyyy interfering in the match. I can see this going several ways, but my totally out of the blue rando pick is the Usos. They are falling behind the other two, and I think they need a solid win against both teams to get back on their level.

Braun Strowman vs. Baron Corbin (TLC match where if Braun wins he is number one contender and Baron is back being a regular wrestler, and if Baron wins he is GM for realz this time)

Braun may or may not be still hurt, but i’ll eat a pair of socks before I pick Baron. And that was before the rumors that Kurt Angle is going to appear on Raw Monday. I think this will be a quickly squash with maybe a bit of Heath to add some color, but in the end Braun yells in Baron’s face, throws him off something, and wins so we can get another terrible match with Brock. Can Strowman just kick his pale ass already and be champ? Ain’t nobody got time for another Brock Lesnar title run.

R-Truth and Carmella vs. Jinder Mahal and Alicia Fox (Mixed Match Challenge Final; Winner gets the number 30 spot in the Royal Rumble)

Let’s check in on the Mixed Match challenge…

HOW THE HELL IS THIS THE FINALS???!!!

I mean there was plenty of injuries and everything but seriously??!! I knew those dance breaks would lead to disaster. Jinder and Foxy are…the same people they always have been. My best case scenario is that R-Truth wins and gets confused come the Rumble and enters first. As a R-Truth hater it would make me happy.  As for Carmella i guess this is better than her getting wins over Asuka. Fabulous Truth wins during the dancing bathroom break.

Ronda Rousey (C) vs. Nia Jax (Raw Women’s Championship Match)

Welp. I suppose this needs to happen so we can move onto bigger and better things. Nia is leaning heavily into her “oops I hurt a coworker for real and cost everyone a dream match” character, which does help her get boos. Meanwhile the more Ronda talks the less I like her. I would believe her anti-millennial rants if she didn’t go into hibernation after her MMA loses and try to tee off against The Man after her journey to the top. Nyway we probably already saw the best version of this match at Money in the Bank so hopefully this doesn’t drag on long. Ronda wins blah blah blah build back up to a match with Lynch.

Seth Rollins (C) vs. Dean Ambrose (Intercontinental Championship Match)

Remember how excited everyone was for this match when Dean turns evil? And then they ruined it by having Dean give “wacky Dean with his hot dog cart” style speeches that you should see drain the life out of audiences in real time.  Meanwhile Seth seems to be feuding with everyone but Dean at the moment. Hell, I think he called me out on Raw at some point. That being said these guys have not had a chance to actually get n the ring, so maybe they can salvage it. This will either be a DQ or a nonstarter as they eventually get around to making this a real feud.

Daniel Bryan (C) vs. AJ Styles (WWE Championship Match)

I did not think I would enjoy a DB heel turn, but his evil hippy character is pretty fun. He is doing his best to get me to boo him, but like Kevin Owens he is just too good to actually hate. Plus he managed to get Brock to work a match that almost looked like a match normal wrestlers would have. Meanwhile AJ is AJ and my only complaint towards him is that he still has not learned to wear a cup. Dude, you need a cup! Protect ya balls man. Anyway Daniel Bryan wins so AJ can negotiate his contract and get his well deserved down time and fats stacks of cash.

Becky Lynch (C) vs. Charlotte vs Asuka (TLC Match for WWE Women’s Championship)

If this is not the main event of evening you can kiss a WrestleMania 35 headlined by  women goodbye. Becky Lynch is clearly The Man in every sense, and it is hard to deny it. Just watch this video. Is there anyone else crushing it on so many fronts as her? Charlotte is still a top tier wrestler and Asuka could very well be on Becky’s level if they let her just murder people and scream in Japanese at people. But Becky will not be stopped. Her dominance both has elevated several wrestlers while exposing those who do not match up (cough, Ronda, cough). Becky wins and blah blah blah just kill more people please and then set their bodies ablaze on Twitter.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Survivor Series 2018 Predictions

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by Frank Lucci

 

After the dizzying highs of Evolution and the terrifying lows of Crown Jewel we come to the redheaded stepchild of the WWE PPV calendar. It once was a big deal before the explosion of gimmick matches in the company, and now it’s just a thing where Raw and Smackdown fight. Allegedly this happens only once a year, if you don’t count battle royals and tournaments. I cannot say I am particularly hyped for this event, especially after the Becky injury, but who knows? Maybe by getting all the talent on the Raw and Smackdown rosters together something good will happen. Or it will be a grind like most recent PPV’s. I’m Spaceman Frank and these are my Survivor Series 2018 predictions!

 

Team Raw (Bobby Roode and Chad Gable, The B-Team (Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel), The Revival (Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson), Lucha House Party (Gran Metalik, Kalisto, and/or Lince Dorado), and The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor)) vs. Team SmackDown (The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso), The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, and/or Xavier Woods), Sanity (Eric Young, Alexander Wolfe and/or Killian Dain), Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson, and The Colóns (Primo Colón and Epico Colón))

 

Well that is quite a mouthful. This preshow match features loads of teams you may have forgotten about or simply not cared about compete for your attention. Really, the only teams that can be considered remotely popular here are The Usos and The New Day, and they are both on the same team. Hell, WWE had to bring in Lucha House Party from 205 Live just to fill the ranks here. Since Smackdown has the popularity power over all five of the Raw teams they will carry their side to the W. Then we can all feel pretty depressed over the state of the tag team divisions on the WWE main rosters.

 

Authors of Pain vs The Bar

 

The least hyped of our cross promotion matches sees some big boys slam into each other in what might be a low key sleeper match of the evening. The Bar have always been good, and even the addition of The Big Slow shouldn’t bring them down much. Meanwhile AOP have come out of nowhere to grab the tag team belts, which probably a good thing. They can put on some good hoss matches and have been neglected since being called up. I think these guys will get very little time, but will take that time to toss each other around and show off their amazing strength. As for who wins I think AOP wins since they are the younger team and The Bar chronically drop the ball on PPV.

 

Buddy Murphy (C) vs Mustafa Ali (WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match)

 

Murphy won the belt at Super Showdown, which feels like a million years ago at this point. He has been a fine champion, if a bland. But that is not necessarily his fault as 205 Live always gets the shaft. Meanwhile Ali is the perpetual challenger to the throne, and really he deserves a chance to be a champion in the WWE. He is constantly entertaining and seems like a swell human outside the ring so he deserves more than what he’s got. Therefore I think he will win the match in an electrifying match that will give LA a wakeup call that they will probably need at some point during this show.

 

Team Raw (Mickie James, Natalya, Nia Jax, Tamina and Ruby Riott) (with Alexa Bliss, Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan) vs. Team SmackDown (Asuka, Carmella, Naomi, Sonya Deville and TBD)

 

This already was a sideshow for the WWE for some time, and the fact that we still have a TBD spot on it shows just how little WWE cares about this. Who takes up this final spot? Lana? One of the Iconics? Will anybody care once it is revealed?! On the Raw side we have almost as many people outside the ring as there will be inside it, and Jax’s recent drama (what with breaking Becky’s face and all) will overshadow whatever else happens. Since Smackdown will win the tag team match I am thinking Raw will walk away with this one.

 

Seth Rollins vs Shinsuke Nakamura

 

Another cross-promotional feud, another match overshadowed by outside forces. In this case it is new mega heel Dean Ambrose, who turned on Seth the same day Roman Reigns revealed his leukemia diagnosis. Everyone expects him to make his presence know and cost Rollins the match, so it is just a matter of how far this match goes before it happens. In a vacuum Nakamura and Rollins should be a barnburner, but Shinsuke has done nothing as US Champ and has fallen so far it is hard to care. The build to this has featured about three minutes of screentime, thus showing the WWE’s priorities here. Shinsuke wins after the Ambrose interference.

 

Team Raw (Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Finn Bálor and Bobby Lashley) (with Baron Corbin and Lio Rush) vs. Team SmackDown (The Miz, Shane McMahon, Rey Mysterio, Samoa Joe and Jeff Hardy)

 

With no stakes outside pride in this one once again the real battle is with audience apathy. I think WWE just mashed all these people together hoping we would be excited for it, but they do not even have the fake brand warfare they have had in previous years. I don’t even think they have previous feuds that they can build off of here, so I guess we’ll just sit and watch and ooh and ahhh in the right spots. When push comes to shove I think Raw always has the advantage in these situations, so they will win out here. Next year can we have Raw vs Smackdown vs NXT instead?

 

Ronda Rousey vs Charlotte

 

What could have/should have been a potential match of the year between Becky Lynch vs Ronda Rousey has been downgraded to what should be an equally epic match. But Becky has been head and shoulders above everyone on the roster that anyone filling in for her would be a disappointment. This was brandied about as a potential Wrestlemania main event though, so it isn’t like this will be a disaster. Plus we now may get Becky vs Ronda at Wrestlemania instead, which I will gladly take. Since Charlotte is the last minute replacement I think Rousey will get the win while Lynch dunks on her over and over again on social media.

 

Brock Lesnar vs Daniel Bryan

 

Now I was not exactly looking forward to AJ Styles vs Brock Lesnar again. But I think WWE did Styles dirty with having lose the belt right before the PPV. I assume he will get his rematch at TLC and hopefully will finally learn to wear a cup. That being said I do not want to see Daniel Bryan in the ring with Brock. Him as champ? I am perfectly OK with it. But Brock is a reckless monster of a man. Look at the way he threw around Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers. You want to see a man who had to retire due to concussion issues face Brock? No thank you. This match will be gross and hard to watch and I worry for Daniel Bryan. The potential for a disaster is massive here, and I just hope after Becky’s injury we do not see another lapse in judgment from WWE. Nobody wins, DQ finish, and I will be sweating throughout.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s NXT Takeover War Games 2018 Predictions

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by Frank Lucci

With all the chaos surrounding the WWE and Survivor Series in particular, it is good to know that there is always NXT. The second War Games event the developmental brand goes back to a more traditional version of the historical match, but mixes up the formula somewhat by having only four matches on the card. Triple H has said in a conference call that this is so each match has the time it requires, which I understand. That being said I really wanted to see Kassius Ohno vs Matt Riddle (with Keith Lee thrown in perhaps?) during the show, but I guess I will settle for this epic card. This card has everything, and it will be exciting to see some people who maybe have not gotten the spotlight they deserve have an opportunity to shine without too else to steal the spotlight. I’m Spaceman Frank and these are my NXT Takeover War Games 2018 predictions!

 

Shayna Baszler (C) vs Kairi Sane (2 out of 3 Falls Match for the NXT WOmen’s CHampionships)

 

I was a little surprised to see yet another bout between these two women, especially after they have traded the title back and forth already. Shayna won back the title at Evolution with the help of the MMA Horsewomen, and I thought it was a pretty convincing win. I suppose I will take another encounter, but really I think someone else should step up and try for the belt especially after Kairi was an afterthought as the champ. I think the Horsewomen will make their presence known once again, thus formally introducing themselves as a faction to the WWE Universe and preparing them for their eventual run as lackeys for Ronda Rousey. Shayners wins and then goes back to playing League of Legends.

 

Aleister Black vs Johnny Gargano

 

This grudge match sees the former beacon of pure pureness Johnny Wrestling getting his comeuppance versus the man he wronged Old Dutch Al. I thought there was still something a good guy Johnny could bring to the table, but since he failed to get the belt and Undisputed Era are busy at the moment he really had nowhere to go. Same could be said for Aleister, who has spent most of his time storming about trying to find who beat him up. Both these guys should probably be on the main roster right now, so this may be a swan song for someone. But considering WWE seems to only dole out call ups around Mania season we shall see. Ale has the motivation to get revenge, but I think Johnny will get the win. He needs to solidify himself as a heel, and if he switches moral alignment only to keep losing that would be pretty sad. Johann Von Doom wins after some extra spicy cheating to really break people’s hearts.

 

Tommaso Ciampa (C) vs Velveteen Dream (NXT CHampionship Match)

 

Ciampa has conquered his former friend, and now takes on another hot prospect in the Velvet One. WHen I first heard this was happening I was all in, and the dynamic between the stoic champ and his flamboyant challenger is a welcome change of pace from the constant bitter boys stories we have seen in the championship picture. The Dream is going to be some sort of champion eventually, but I feel like this is almost a placeholder match. He is someone NXT officials can plug in and make the crowds happy, but I cannot see him winning. He is too young and has already had matches with most of his likely potential challengers, so if he does have a serious run in him it will be later. Ciampa is too good as a baddie paranoid champ and if he loses the belt I think they will wait for a major show around Mania time as opposed to just having him win his year long fued with Gargano then drop the belt to the next wrestler to face him. Tommaso wins in a fun match.

 

The Undisputed Era vs Ricochet, Pete Dunne, and War Raiders (War Games Match)

 

This dream match features the hottest faction in all of WWE take on some pretty badass challengers in what is going to be a total slobberknocker. Undisputed continue to put on amazing matches both individually as well as a unit. PLus their promos are just the right level of snark that makes them annoying heels without makign them completely unlikeable. Each of their opponents are game to match them in the ring, and I am looking forward to some out of sight tag team moves from the four men opposite Undisputed. In particular I am looking forward to War Raiders getting their chance to shine finally. They have been too good to sit on the bench as long as they have, and I think they are prime for a tag team title run. As for who wins, it is hard to say. Pete Dunne is the biggest single factor as to who may win, as he may decide to play nice only as long as he feels like it. He could turn on his team, especially recent rival Ricochet, or he could go after Roddy Strong for his previous betrayal of Dunne. All in all t will be lots of fun to watch, and I see this match going long and causing me to jump up and down on my couch throughout. I am going with Undisputed Era for the win because the unit seems like the right choice over the thrown together allies.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s WWE Evolution Predictions

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It’s time for a very historic PPV, and I for one cannot wait for this epic tribute to one of the best stables in WWE history. Go get you a PPV all to yourself guys you earned it!

 

…Oh wait it’s the first WWE all female PPV? Well I guess that works to.

 

On one hand it is hard not to get excited about this event. It has been a long time coming, and WWE definitely has the talent to make this at least as good as any of the regular PPV’s they pump out. Heck, it probably will be better cause people actually want this to be a success. On the other hand, we got Crown Jewel. That other PPV this week has caused such a firestorm among many fans that some of that toxicity has managed to leak onto what should be the real crown jewel of WWE’s calendar year. It is hard to feel like the company truly cares about this event when the final segment of WWE tv set before this event featuring those noted feminists Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton. Every single women wrestling legend they bring back is overshadowed by the unretirement/ selling out of Shawn Michaels for Crown Jewel. Even if you are ambivalent about the current situation in Saudi Arabia, it’s hard to not feel like the main promotional drive of the company is focused towards that (admittedly huge) story. And beyond all that there is the heartbreaking news that Roman Reigns is fighting leukemia. I think this will be a good night for the WWE and women’s wrestling in general, but let’s see how much WWE cares about the event in the weeks and months to follow. I’m Spaceman Frank and here are my WWE Evolution predictions!

 

Historic Women’s Battle Royal (Yes that is what it is actually called)

 

WWE promised that their would be 50 women on this show and, well, this covers that. The winner also gets a shot at a women’s championship match, so at least there is that. Plus you can assume all the returning legends will lose. There is 20 women involved in this match, and I think maybe 4 have a shot. Naomi came out of nowhere to win the Wrestlemania women’s battle royal, so she will at least get to the final five or six or so women. Ember Moon is due to do something at some point on the main roster, so winning a random battle royal would make sense. Nia Jax is in the same boat after they blew her chance to be a positive babyface role model so she could get murdered by Ronda, so she could win. Plus, you know, WWE loves to have big people win battle royals. Finally, my pick to win is Asuka. It is tragic how she has been booked after her lost at Wrestlemania, and they need to get her back on track ASAP because there is money to be made with a future match against Ronda Rousey. Hell, she needs to win to face Becky Lynch or Charlotte again. Asuka wins and hopefully eats Lana’s heart in the ring to established dominance.

 

Sasha Banks, Bayley, and Natalya vs The Riott Squad

 

What do you do when you are too big for the battle royal but do not warrant a singles match/an real fued? Go against the perennial losers The Riott Squad! At least this is an easy win barring betrayals for the good gals….and that’s all I got for this match. Still more effort than the WWE creative team put into it!

Trish Stratus and Lita vs Alicia Fox and Mickie James (with Alexa Bliss)

 

Originally Alexa Bliss was going to be in this match, back when it was the only match announced for this PPV and it was one on one versus Trish. Now it is a tag match featuring some legends and some of the veterans on the roster. I would have rathered Trish and Lita go against some up and comers, but considering this is probably Mickie and Foxy’s highest profile match is ages I’ll take it. Trish was pretty decent the last time we saw her, but it’s not like she had much to do during the Women’s Royal Rumble. Meanwhile Lita has looked pretty dodgy when asked to wrestle, especially when she does her moonsault. I cringe every time. But who knows maybe this will be pretty fun. If Alexa was in this match I’d say she would win, but with her out I think the legends win.

 

Kairi Sane (C) vs Shayna Baszler (NXT Women’s Championship Match)

 

The Pirate Princess vs the Shayniest of Baszlers! Their first NXT title match was pretty grand, and I was hoping we would get a rampaging Shayners murdering people even more than she was previously. Instead we are getting True Instinct Baszler who is training in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber after being humbled. Interesting choice, made all the more strange that Sane has been regulated to the background of NXT. I think the WWE may start building towards the forever rumored Four Horsewomen vs Four Horsewomen match, but we shall see. More importantly, I think WWE may be trying to get that shot of Ronda and the Bestler with matching titles to make sure everyone knows how much better real MMA fighters are than WWE Superstars. Until Matt Riddle kicks their heads off for the bros. Shay Shay wins back her title for all the little girls in the Dakotas.

 

Toni Storm vs Io Shirai (2018 Mae Young Classic Final)

 

This year’s Mae Young classic has been very solid, and is a step up over last year’s edition. Maybe it was because they relied on less on unknown NXT trainees and more on established talent, or maybe because they knew they need to take it more seriously because the final would be on PPV. Io Shirai is one of the best wrestlers regardless of gender, but I have my concerns. She is the third highly touted female Japanese star the company has brought in, and looking at how Asuka and Kairi have fared you gotta have a little bit of doubt. I think they could all take over the roster, but will WWE put in the time, especially on the main roster? Meanwhile Toni Storm is…fine. She is not bad by any stretch, but I haven’t seen anything that makes me think she is better than many of the main roster or NXT wrestlers. She is however attractive, fit, and blond, which check off several boxes we know somebody in WWE (cough, Vince) likes, so I think she will win over Shirai.

 

Becky Lynch (C) vs Charlotte (Last Person Standing Match for WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship)

 

Can we talk about how Becky Lynch is crushing it right now? In the ring, on the mic, hell even on social media and Youtube she is legit the best thing going in the company. She is the one person I feel the need to watch every single segment or clip the WWE puts out that she is involved in. She deserves to headline this PPV. Instead she will prob get the AJ Styles treatment and go on fourth. Also doing their part is Charlotte, who is putting in justttttt the right amount of classic Flair mannerisms to let fans who want to justify their boos of her to make this that much more interesting. I am ready to see the hell these two women put each other through. I just wish WWE would act like it’s as big of a deal as Nikki Effing Bella. Becky wins and continues to body every single thing that comes across her path.

 

Ronda Rousey (C) vs Nikki Bella (WWE Raw Women’s Championship Match)

 

I heard the idea here was to put the two biggest mainstream women wrestlers against each other to get as many eyes on this as possible. First off, in what reality is Nikki Bella that big of a mainstream star? Stephanie Mcmahon is a way bigger name and would make sense given their past. Second I will not take the essentially retired Bella with a history of neck problems against the baddest women on the planet. IRL Ronda would fart on Nikki and cause her to explode. Third, I do not know how this will be anywhere near the level the Smackdown or NXT title match will be. Fourth, we all know who is going to win, and so really this could end the night on a big old rasberry. Ronda breaks Nikki and we all pine for Ronda vs Lynch at some point.

 

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s WWE Hell in a Cell 2018 Predictions

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After a brief post-Summerslam pause the WWE is going all out in with a barrage of PPV’s in the next couple months. We have the upcoming Hell in a Cell, but nobody cares about that gimmicky PPV, especially the WWE. Instead the company has looked completely past this PPV to a pair of HISTORY MAKING EVENTS in October. We have the traditional but set in a massive cricket stadium in Australia Super Show-Down and the all women Evolution PPV soon after. And then of course we have the often overlooked big four PPV Survivor Series to feel mediocre about in November. Hell in a Cell is just the tip of the iceberg, and it feels very much like the company just does not care about this. Probably because this event won’t make them as much money as tens of thousands of Aussies or generate tons of headlines. At least we can look forward to the slow heat death of the universe and Braun Stroman’s push. I’m Spaceman Frank and this is my Hell in a Cell 2018 predictions!

 

The New Day (C) vs Aiden English and Rusev (WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match)

 

The New Day have gained the tag titles from The Bludgeon Brothers after Erick Rowan did what he usually does in high pressure situations: get injured for several months. This has left MY BOY Luke adrift to randomly show up at NXT shows in Buffalo to put on barnburners in Ricochet and The New Day with the belts for the fifth time. Now Rusev and his young ward Aiden have won the right to face the modern day legends in their first defense. It seemed as though Rusev and English we destined to fight, but they seem to have pulled a Bayley and Sasha and made up unexpectedly. Maybe it will happen at Hell in a Cell, but I doubt it. The New Day will be front and center for the SUper Show-Down, so they will retain as Rusev continues his streak of losing big matches.

 

Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre (C) vs Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose (WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Match)

 

Speaking of sudden tag belt switches we have gone from The Deleter of Worlds to The B Team to now…um…Dolphintyre? Sure let’s go with that. They face a pair of old foes in the good 66 percent of The Shield, who at least are not being roped into making Roman look credible for at least one night. Dolph is getting somewhat a decent push with his Scottish man servant, and I am not sure it is time for them to drop the belts even to a pair of workhorses like Dean and Seth. Plus eventually Dean does need to turn evil at some point to justify getting swole and cutting off all his hair. Zigggles and Scots keep the belts.

 

Jeff Hardy vs Randy Orton (Hell in a Cell Match)

 

Why is this in a Hell in a Cell cage? Cause 40 something Jeff Hardy is looking for some workman’s comp that’s why. The only logical explanation I have for this stip is that Jeff is will to throw himself off the cage (cause lord knows Randy is gonna do that stuff. He hates dives after all), so here comes WWE’s resident non-Mcmahon stuntman. Lord knows I can’t be bothered to care about this match if WWE won’t and I’ll be cooking dinner during this. Randy wins because he is allegedly a super star and we need those for a Super Show-Down.

 

Ronda Rousey (C) vs Alexa Bliss (WWE Raw Women’s Championship Match)

 

While these two’s first match was pretty swell, it did not exactly leave me wanting more. Ronda killed Alexa dead at Summerslam, and that beating was very one sided. Bliss thinks she has a chance against the former UFC champion because…reasons? Look I am all for the WWE showing the multi-time champ Bliss as a credible threat, but considering she was treated like a gnat by Ronda makes me think we will get more of the ame this go around. Ronda wins and moves on to break Nikki Bella’s neck at Evolution.

 

Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella vs The Miz and Maryse

 

After some shenanigans at Summerslam the ladies are getting involved in this feud. And it makes sense given that Maryse played a big part in getting her man a win over his hated rival. Props for Maryse and Brie returning to the ring soon after giving birth to their respective daughters, but really I hope they avoid getting in the ring as much as possible. Brie was a mixed bag at best in the ring, and her repeated failures at pulling off a suicide dive are worrying. Meanwhile was Maryse ever a good wrestler? I honestly do not know. It would make sense that Bryan would get some measure of revenge against his foe, but considering there is plenty of opportunities for further rematches this is far from over. I predict Brie pins Maryse to set up a rematch of their own at Evolution while their men have a Dad-off in Aussie Land.

 

Charlotte Flair (C) vs Becky Lynch (WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship)

 

Let’s be real: everyone was super stoked seeing Becky quit acting like a doofus and attacking Charlotte after she stole away her victory at Summerslam. And yeah they tried to initially lean into the heel turn, but now they have actually made it pretty easy to chose what dynamic you want to feel towards this conflict. Becky is justifiably pissed at her former friend, and Charlotte has not exactly come off as a sympathetic good guy. After all, she is now only behind Trish Stratus in terms of championship reigns and and def has put on shades of a spoiled jock. Personally I like both women, but I think we have had good guy Charlotte for too long. Time for her to be a baddie and Becky to be like SEE I TOLD YA SHE WAS A MEANIE! Charlotte has had plenty of short title reigns lately, and I think maybe having her lose immediately, so I think maybe she will cheat to win to further muddy the waters between the two women.

 

AJ Styles (C) vs Samoa Joe (WWE Championship Match)

 

I am guessing this is not a Hell in a Cell match because then Joe would have trouble creeping on Wendy Styles. While these two have very little to work with to further this feud, they have managed to turn chicken poop into something more edible. Not quite chicken salad, but like lukewarm Mcnuggets with no sauce. Still the first match between the two was pretty freaking awesome, but since that ended in a DQ having a plain jane rematch between the two is a pretty vanilla option. Hell, we already know a rematch is going to happen, so it is hard to truly care about this match. Still should be fun though. I can see Joe winning and getting a well deserved title reign before dropping it back to AJ soon afterwards, but I have burned way to many times by fantasies of Joe being WWE champion to believe it will actually happen. AJ retains probably by DQ again.

 

Roman Reigns (C) vs Braun Strowman (Hell in a Cell match for the WWE Universal Championship w/ Mick Foley as Special Guest Referee)

 

I was entirely apathetic towards this match once Braun used his Money in the Bank Briefcase to get it. It’s obvious that they did this to make it so they could get rid of all those pesky Braun fans clamoring for him to be the man instead of The Big Dog. Now they are cutting their nose off to spite their face, and turning Braun back into a cartoon ogre rather than the badass giant is just plain dumb. It’s the same thing they did to Nia Jax when she faced Ronda Rousey. It’s very transparent who WWE thinks are the real stars on the roster, and everyone else is there to prop them up. Roman for all his flaws needs to have an actual run with the belt instead of ust losing the belt immediately, so he will win and Braun will huff and puff and flip over a house.

 

Podcast, Pro Wrestling

Manopera! Episode 58 – SummerSlam 2018 (Frank Dies)

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Chris and Spaceman Frank return with a review of SummerSlam 2018 and are joined by a terrifying guest from Chikara Pro Wrestling!

Donate to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/thebonesaw.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s SummerSlam 2018 Predictions

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by Frank Lucci

WWE needs a big win with SummerSlam. After a string of main roster PPV’s that were meh at best and downright depressing at worst they need to prove they can put on a show that people enjoy through and through. To add to the expediency of the moment, we are coming towards Cody Rhodes and the Young Buck’s All In show in September, which is a golden opportunity for independent wrestling to break out for real. I am starting to see a trend with wrestling fans both hardcore and casual to gravitate towards NJPW and indie highlights found on YouTube over watching the dozen or so hours of WWE content produced every week. The barbarians are not quite at the gate, but they are starting to gather down the road. Will parts of SummerSlam be worthy of the second biggest show of the year? Absolutely. Will it all be great? Hell no. But this is a good chance to get some momentum back for the global superpower and quiet some haters. I’m Spaceman Frank and here are my SummerSlam 2018 predictions!

The B-Team (C) vs .The Revival (WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Preshow Match)

Hey kids, it’s The Revival! Remember them and all the super fun matches they had in NXT… (grabs drink)?

But no really I am happy they are being given something to do, and shows Author’s of Pain fans they just need to wait a year and their boys will finally start being relevant again. Is there any more perfect team to be part of the preshow than a team literally called The B-Team? Bo and Curtis to their credit are pretty fun to watch during their celebrations, but I am pretty sure I’ll be cooking up some sausages while this happens. The B-Team win cause the FTR hashtag.

Rusev and Lana vs. Cien Almas and Zelina Vega

Rusev has gone from number one contender for the WWE Championship to tagging with his wife on the preshow. Hey at least this is one for the scrapbook. Meanwhile Cien and Zelina have slowly moving up the card, but they still are fumbling around the preshow when it matters. But hey at least there should be some good action. Except when Lana tags in. I say Ruru and Lana win because love conquers all.

Cedric Alexander (C) vs. Drew Gulak (WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match)

You know what’s fun to watch? 205 Live. Ced might be the most consistently entertaining champ on the WWE main roster. And Drew has been killing it with his Powerpoint gimmick for some time now, and I guarantee he is every grad student’s favorite wrestler because of his presentations. Can we just make the first hour of Raw 205 Live? They deserve better, but at least there is a growing buzz about the program. Seriously any time you just want a power hour of fine wrestling throw it on. I think Cedric is going to retain in an excellent match.

The Bludgeon Brothers (C) vs. The New Day (WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match)

Moving to the main show we got The New Day trying to topple the big old budgies in what should be a fun match. It seems like most fans have given up on the B-Bros, which is a shame cause I think they have done pretty well in an admittedly limited role. The New Day can do whatever they want at this point and people will still love them, but I am ready to see one of them break out and get a run with a solo belt. The Bros win because they are big and have hammers and MY BOY LUKE HARPER IS STILL MY BOY.

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

The “Match that is happening for reasons unknown” part of the card sees Finny take on Baron “def not Corporate Kane” Corbin in a rematch somebody must want. Somewhere. At some point I may care about Balor again, probably when he breaks out The Demon again. And I never cared about Baron Corbin, despite being his dad (via time travel. It’s complicated). I have to say Finn wins because he was the first Universal Champ and that should mean something.

Dolph Ziggler (C W/Drew McIntyre) vs. Seth Rollins (W/ Dean Ambrose) (Intercontinental Championship Match)

Is this considered another overtime period for their Iron Man Match from Extreme Rules? Not sure why we are just getting a strait rematch after that special stipulation match, but whatever. This should be kind of fun, but mostly people will be looking at Dean Ambrose and seeing if he goes for some betrayal. It would certainly be interesting, but I have a feeling they might try to squeeze a quick SHIELD reunion in since the last one crashed and burned so badly. Either way I think Ziggler will win leading to bigger and better things for Sethie and Deanie Poo.

Shinsuke Nakamura (C) vs. Jeff Hardy (United States Championship Match)

Why is this not a triple threat match with Randy Orton? Because Randy is suspended for whipping his penis out at writers (just kidding he’s taking the day off). Nakamura looks great with a title and Jeff is allegedly just as banged up as his brother, so do not expect much. Randy might do a very methodical saunter run in, but really would that make anyone happen? Probably not. Nakamura will retain and hopefully find a worthy opponent of his skills…that does not involve five months of dick kicks.

Carmella (C) vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch (Triple Threat for WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship)

Nobody is ready for Asuka, which is probably why she is she is making slime rather than being part of this match or any part of SummerSlam. I mean, they added Charlotte to the match why not Asuka? Anyway when this was just ‘Mella and Becky I assumed that it was Lynch’s time since she is actually been booked like a winner for once. But then Charlotte was added to the match so I guess it is back to the Loser’s Ball along with Titus Worldwide and Bayley. My vote is Becky and Charlotte eventually get angry at each other over who gets to continue to murder Carmella, leading the champ to get the sneaky roll up win.

Alexa Bliss (C) vs. Ronda Rousey (WWE Raw Women’s Championship)

I feel like this is Ronda’s time. I think WWE is banking on the triumphant imagine of Ronda holding the belt high considering the unknowns of other title matches. This could be the halftime highlight before all the Roman gets everywhere and ruins your night. Plus there is that Evolution show in October that needs a headliner. Plus Alexa Bliss, while a great character, is about as threatening as a feisty kitten. After some hjiinks Ronda wins and hopefully starts showing up more often and moving towards some more physical opponents that can push her to greater heights.

Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens (If Owens wins he will earn Money in the Bank Briefcase, Braun will lose briefcase if disqualified or counted out)

This is happening to add some intrigue to the main event. But we will get to that later. After getting murdered (politely because the crash pad under the announcer table) Owens looks to seek revenge If he didn’t get crushed by Strowman for most of their match I would believe he would have more of a chance. I wanna say there could be a chance he special stipulations come into play, but overall Braun has been booked way smarter than most monsters so I think he will play it smart. Plus c’mon Braun is going to the belt sooner rather than later. Don’t tell me Vince isn’t ready to give him a run on the top.

Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz

The emotional highlight of the night sees these two rivals settle years of conflict and I cannot wait. This is not going to be the jazzy technical match of the night, but these dudes are master storytellers and will milk every high and low for what it is worth.  But who will win? There is a little bit of mystery concerning DB’s contract, but really I cannot imagine him hitting the open market. So with that being said, I think Miz will get the opening salvo of what will be a multi-match affair. There is Hell in a Cell coming up, and Miz can cheat here and keep things going until he is trapped with The American Dragon in a steel cage. Miz wins and his show lasts for seven more seasons Morty!

AJ Styles (C) vs. Samoa Joe (WWE Championship Match)

The real main event of the evening sees two vets beat the piss out of each other. WWE learned from the Styles vs Nakamura feud and made this immediately about Joe’s comments about AJ’s family. It has lead to some amazing promos in addition to this amazing mini documentary which is a must watch. Joe has a chance to be the only man to be WWE, TNA, and Ring of Honor champion in history, and you know what? I think he will do it cause it’s now or never with him. Joe wins, even if his run could be a short one.

Brock Lesnar (C) vs. Roman Reigns (WWE Universal Championship)

Welp. Here we are again. The internet is trying to convince themselves that there is some mystery here. Maybe Braun will cash in. Maybe he will make this a triple threat so we do not have to actually watch this rematch.  Maybe Kevin Owens will get the Money in the Bank briefcase and cash in. Maybe Heyman will join Roman. Here what will actually happen: Nothing. It’s time for Roman. We just have to accept it. If the WWE do not have him win now, then he is done. His goose will be cooked. Nobody will take him seriously anymore and WWE knows it. So here we go. It is happening. For Real. LOL ROMAN WINS. Get your beers ready in advanced.

 

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Franks NXT TakeOver: Brooklyn 4 Predictions

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by Frank Lucci

The summer is coming to a close, which means WWE is about to take over New York CIty. This weekend will feature the usual cornucopia of wrestling hijiinks and the various high and low points WWE fans are accustomed to at this point. First up we have the fourth NXT Takeover event to emanate from Brooklyn, which seems crazy to write.

I never thought the NXT brand would still be going as strong as it was four years later, and barring some poorly timed injuries this was shaping up to be the usual barnburner for the developmental brand. It will still be the bee’s knees, but some of the originality found on the card was robbed when the planned card fell through. I guess we will have to settle for some exciting if unoriginal rematches. I’m Spaceman Frank and here are my NXT Takeover: Brooklyn 4 predictions!

Velveteen Dream vs. EC3

The battle of the incredibly handsome man is the only non title match on the Takeover card. EC3 made the terrible mistake of debuting in the same match as Ricochet, so he has mostly fallen flat for me. I think he could be an excellent Bobby Roode clone in the current NXT environment, but for whatever reason he is presented as a good guy. A rich, arrogant, and handsome good guy.

Dream has continued to be the Dream, but while he had a natural rival in Ricochet athletically this feud has mostly been two grown men in tight clothes proclaiming how great they are. Definitely an excuse to get these two on the card, but entirely nonessential. Both men have had little success on TakeOvers, but I think Velveteen gets the win here to give him a bit of momentum.

The Undisputed Era (C) vs. Moustache Mountain (NXT Tag Team Title Match)

What I assume is the rubber match between the two teams after some epic back and forth between the squads. There is no doubting how popular Undisputed is, and they are the best bet for a modern NWO squad/rival to Bullet Club WWE has. There is plenty of potential in the group, and I think NXT would be smart to keep the belts on Roddy and Kyle for some time.

Mt. Stache got their names in the record books and will probably anchor the NXT UK scene when the time comes. Then when Bobby Fish gets healed up he can take over tag team duties, Roddy wins the North American belt and Adam Cole gets the NXT belt to run wild in 2019.

Shayna Baszler (C) vs. Kairi Sane (NXT Women’s Championship)

Hayner Declaymer seeks revenge on one of the few women to claim a victory over her in the form of Sane. Kairi has not exactly set the world on fire the way I thought she would after winning the first Mae Young Classic, so hopefully this gets her back on track. The champ has been getting better and better, but I still are not terribly impressed with her. I think she has potential as a character, but I’ve yet to see the match that tells me she is championship caliber.

That being said, I am guessing WWE is banking on the image of her and fellow horsewomen Ronda Rousey holding belts side by side so she is going to retain at least until October.

Adam Cole (C) vs. Ricochet (NXT North American Championship Match)

The One and Only faces the leader of Undisputed in what would be a hell of a match. Sure the build has boiled down to “really good wrestler wants a belt from slimy heel” but the crowd was going to be hot for this one either way. Expect lots of dueling chants and high flying moves as Ricochet tries to make up for the numbers disadvantage.

Adam Cole is destined for bigger and better things soon as I hinted at with the tag team match, and the same could be said of Ricochet. This very well could be a preview of a future NXT title match, or dare I say IC title match? I think this could be a toss up, but I think Cole is going to get the nod for the win since Triple H has singled him out as someone who is an MVP of NXT.

Tomasso Ciampa (C) vs. Johnny Gargano (Last Man Standing Match for NXT Championship)

I was very much looking forward to the triple threat match between these two and former champ Aleister Black, and it’s a shame Old Dutch Ale is out just long enough to miss the event. So with about two weeks notice the rivalry of the year is back on, and NXT has done a good job making a bunch of video packages driving the hype up.

However, I was really into Johnny Gargano’s evolution from heart of gold pure babyface to shades of grey and even, dare I say, a bit of a dick?! But now we can forget all that cause he is back to trying to murder his foe, unless of course he was the one who attacked Black. Re-watching their Chicago Street Fight I do not know how they will top that without actual murder, but I have faith they will. As for who wins, Ciampa has not had enough time with the belt, so Johann Wrasslin will regain his conscious just in time to mess up and let Ciampa win.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Extreme Rules 2018 Predictions

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by Frank Lucci

“Extreme” Rules more like it am I right guys? While WWE has decided to fill this PPV to the point of bursting with matches they remained stingy on the stipulations. This has made this event on the whole very unnecessary because we all know that the real action is being held off until SummerSlam. This merely serves to get all the pieces into place and give the main events something to do in the meantime. As someone who refuses to watch Raw and SmackDown i’m still excited to watch, but considering the YouTube clips from the shows seem pretty bleak God help you if you subject yourself to this plus the weekly shows. 205 is a blast though and the Cruiserweights get rewarded for their efforts by…(scanning card)…oh. My name is Spaceman Frank and this is my Extreme Rules 2018 predictions!

Sin Cara vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas (Pre-show Thing That is Happening)

This came together about a few days before the show, and sees Cien Almas face one of maybe three people he has faced on SmackDown since being called up in April. Sin Cara is pretty much a non-entity at this point, so it’s not like the former NXT champion gets a boost from this. But at least he gets to appear on a television screen. That’s fun right?! Cien Almas wins and starts of our evening of twelve (TWELVE???!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!) matches.

The New Day vs. Sanity (Pre-show Tables Match)

Speaking of sad, sad post-Mania pushes here is Sanity having a losing streak to defend! They came, they saw, they beat up some people before getting pinned by other, more popular wrestlers. At least this match should be plenty of fun if wholy inconsequential to anything relevant. At least my gal Nikki Cross was spotted helping her boys at a SmackDown live show! Sanity gets it together and gets a win so they do not completely blow it on their first glimpse at the main stage.

Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy (C) vs. The B-Team (WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Match)

Yup. Here is a match that somebody demanded. I am all for giving Curtis and Bo something to do, but they are literally called The B-Team. Bathroom break is written all over this. Bray and Matt win while I eat some queso and chips in the other room catching up on my telenovelas.

Jeff Hardy (C) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (WWE US Championship Match)

Shinsuke failed to ever put away AJ Styles for the WWE Championship, so now he takes on the walking wounded (according to the rumors) Jeff Hardy. Why dick kicks are not legal to keep that gimmick going is a mystery to me. It sounds like Jeff seriously needs some time off and they need to recover Nakamura’s image after the constant losing/non-finishes so he will win here to give him some payoff for his push.

Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens

The Monster in the Bank is in a holding pattern while he (like everyone else) wait to see when Brock Lesnar will show up next. And what does WWE do when it has it’s main eventers in a holding pattern? Kill a French Canadian. And with Sami Zayn out until next year with multiple shoulder problems it falls to KO to be sacrificed. Braun flipping over the car? Awesome. Braun knocking over a porta potty? Ummmm ok. KO hiding from a workplace bully in his bosses office? Sounds like a problem for HR. Braun wins in a squash as we remember Kevin Owens winning the Universal Championship with sadness.

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin is bald now, so I can’t make jokes about his hair. Sigh…but seriously, he looks much better without hair and the Constable Corbin gimmick is way better than him just Lone-Wolfing on innocent audiences across the country. Finn is the king of doing absolutely nothing of note for the majority of the year, and while this can be fun I do not remember a time I took him seriously as someone who wins big matches. Hell, the most excited I got for him this year was seeing the chemistry he had while facing Strowman in various situations before WrestleMania but we never even got a real feud out of it. Can we get that at some point please?

This one is a toss up for me and I think whoever wins has a good chance of filling time in a match at SummerSlam so I will pick Finn to win. Only to lose in the opener of SummerSlam against John Cena like Baron did last year.

Carmella (C) vs. Asuka (James Ellsworth in a Shark Cage Match for the WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship)

Gasp! A stipulation match! Finally! And it is a…oh. Oh No. Not the shark cage again.

Ellsworth is my boy and I’m glad he is getting paid but Jesus why with this. Carmella is good as the annoying cowardly champ, but her time has come. Gotta get your big guns in spots to succeed before SummerSlam and Asuka has farted around long enough. Just give her the belt already so we can see her take on Charlotte again. Asuka wins and snaps Ellsworth in half and drinks his spinal fluid.

Alexa Bliss (C) vs. Nia Jax (Extreme Rules Match for WWE Raw Women Championship)

Has anyone been damaged more by Ronda Rousey’s (deserved) push than Nia? Won the belt, set up to be an anti-bully hero, then immediately turns heel and proves her rival right. Now she is ready to take on her longstanding rival with the only extreme rules match on the card. We are all waiting for Rousey to come back from “suspension” and it would fit her current character to interfere and set up a triple threat at SummerSlam. More likely, though, I see Alexa winning and then getting fed to Ronda at the big event in August.

The Bludgeon Brothers (C) vs. Team Hell No (WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match)

Team Hell No, official owners of the newest worst shirt ever produced by WWE. They have reunited despite Kane having an mayoral campaign to run to take on MY BOY Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. I’m glad The Bros of Bludgeoning get something real to do, but really anyone can fill this spot because it is all about what may happen after. I have heard theories that Kane will turn heel, but who turns heel when they are running for office?! He could sway some people against him and cost himself the match, err um election! I think The Miz will interfere and we shall finally get Miz vs. Daniel Bryan and all the glorious promos that will happen in the build.

Dolph Ziggler (C) vs. Seth Rollins (30 Minute Iron Man Match for WWE Intercontinental Championship Match)

I really want to be excited for this match. I really do. But knowing that this is a half an hour match sandwiched in a 12 match card makes me very apathetic. Ziggler and his buddy Drew are much together than separate, and there is potential for plenty of fun. I just do not see anyone caring about this unless it is the opener. The Zigglypuff has more momentum than he has in awhile, and Seth is still Seth so it shouldn’t be an stinker. Ziggler wins to set up a rematch that sees an actually extreme rule or two attached to it.

AJ Styles (C) vs. Rusev (WWE Championship Match)

I was thrilled when Rusev won the gauntlet match to become number one contender. Finally, one of my favorite wrestlers was getting an actual chance to show off that he can be capable of headlining a show, and then…nothing.

Rusev and AJ have farted around like they are waiting for Brock Lesnar to show up on their show instead of Raw. It is a pretty sad state of affairs that AJ Styles, one of the best wrestlers in the world and the actual champion of WWE cannot even get top billing when Lesnar is absent. Even worse is they cannot take Rusev seriously despite being one of the most popular wrestlers on the roster. I do not know what the WWE is thinking here and it brings down everything else the company is trying to do. AJ wins in a solid match that makes me mad that it is not the top of the card.

Roman Reigns vs. Bobby Lashley

Meanwhile, in Vince’s wet dreams we have this match. I was stoked to see Lashley return to WWE since I heard he was a bright spot on Impact, but since his redebut he has been nothing short of lame. Just another big bulking guy taking up the limelight as literally dozens of other wrestlers deserve the spotlight more. And then we have The Squeaky Puppy Roman Reign trying to gain an edge by working himself into a shoot and causing eye rolls across the country. At least Bobby has the benefit of the doubt when it comes to a potential Lesnar match, but I do not want any of this match. Get this out of my sight and bring me Braun winning the Universal belt at SummerSlam or I may cry. I’ll go with Bob Lashers here because why not.