It’s time for a very historic PPV, and I for one cannot wait for this epic tribute to one of the best stables in WWE history. Go get you a PPV all to yourself guys you earned it!

 

…Oh wait it’s the first WWE all female PPV? Well I guess that works to.

 

On one hand it is hard not to get excited about this event. It has been a long time coming, and WWE definitely has the talent to make this at least as good as any of the regular PPV’s they pump out. Heck, it probably will be better cause people actually want this to be a success. On the other hand, we got Crown Jewel. That other PPV this week has caused such a firestorm among many fans that some of that toxicity has managed to leak onto what should be the real crown jewel of WWE’s calendar year. It is hard to feel like the company truly cares about this event when the final segment of WWE tv set before this event featuring those noted feminists Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton. Every single women wrestling legend they bring back is overshadowed by the unretirement/ selling out of Shawn Michaels for Crown Jewel. Even if you are ambivalent about the current situation in Saudi Arabia, it’s hard to not feel like the main promotional drive of the company is focused towards that (admittedly huge) story. And beyond all that there is the heartbreaking news that Roman Reigns is fighting leukemia. I think this will be a good night for the WWE and women’s wrestling in general, but let’s see how much WWE cares about the event in the weeks and months to follow. I’m Spaceman Frank and here are my WWE Evolution predictions!

 

Historic Women’s Battle Royal (Yes that is what it is actually called)

 

WWE promised that their would be 50 women on this show and, well, this covers that. The winner also gets a shot at a women’s championship match, so at least there is that. Plus you can assume all the returning legends will lose. There is 20 women involved in this match, and I think maybe 4 have a shot. Naomi came out of nowhere to win the Wrestlemania women’s battle royal, so she will at least get to the final five or six or so women. Ember Moon is due to do something at some point on the main roster, so winning a random battle royal would make sense. Nia Jax is in the same boat after they blew her chance to be a positive babyface role model so she could get murdered by Ronda, so she could win. Plus, you know, WWE loves to have big people win battle royals. Finally, my pick to win is Asuka. It is tragic how she has been booked after her lost at Wrestlemania, and they need to get her back on track ASAP because there is money to be made with a future match against Ronda Rousey. Hell, she needs to win to face Becky Lynch or Charlotte again. Asuka wins and hopefully eats Lana’s heart in the ring to established dominance.

 

Sasha Banks, Bayley, and Natalya vs The Riott Squad

 

What do you do when you are too big for the battle royal but do not warrant a singles match/an real fued? Go against the perennial losers The Riott Squad! At least this is an easy win barring betrayals for the good gals….and that’s all I got for this match. Still more effort than the WWE creative team put into it!

Trish Stratus and Lita vs Alicia Fox and Mickie James (with Alexa Bliss)

 

Originally Alexa Bliss was going to be in this match, back when it was the only match announced for this PPV and it was one on one versus Trish. Now it is a tag match featuring some legends and some of the veterans on the roster. I would have rathered Trish and Lita go against some up and comers, but considering this is probably Mickie and Foxy’s highest profile match is ages I’ll take it. Trish was pretty decent the last time we saw her, but it’s not like she had much to do during the Women’s Royal Rumble. Meanwhile Lita has looked pretty dodgy when asked to wrestle, especially when she does her moonsault. I cringe every time. But who knows maybe this will be pretty fun. If Alexa was in this match I’d say she would win, but with her out I think the legends win.

 

Kairi Sane (C) vs Shayna Baszler (NXT Women’s Championship Match)

 

The Pirate Princess vs the Shayniest of Baszlers! Their first NXT title match was pretty grand, and I was hoping we would get a rampaging Shayners murdering people even more than she was previously. Instead we are getting True Instinct Baszler who is training in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber after being humbled. Interesting choice, made all the more strange that Sane has been regulated to the background of NXT. I think the WWE may start building towards the forever rumored Four Horsewomen vs Four Horsewomen match, but we shall see. More importantly, I think WWE may be trying to get that shot of Ronda and the Bestler with matching titles to make sure everyone knows how much better real MMA fighters are than WWE Superstars. Until Matt Riddle kicks their heads off for the bros. Shay Shay wins back her title for all the little girls in the Dakotas.

 

Toni Storm vs Io Shirai (2018 Mae Young Classic Final)

 

This year’s Mae Young classic has been very solid, and is a step up over last year’s edition. Maybe it was because they relied on less on unknown NXT trainees and more on established talent, or maybe because they knew they need to take it more seriously because the final would be on PPV. Io Shirai is one of the best wrestlers regardless of gender, but I have my concerns. She is the third highly touted female Japanese star the company has brought in, and looking at how Asuka and Kairi have fared you gotta have a little bit of doubt. I think they could all take over the roster, but will WWE put in the time, especially on the main roster? Meanwhile Toni Storm is…fine. She is not bad by any stretch, but I haven’t seen anything that makes me think she is better than many of the main roster or NXT wrestlers. She is however attractive, fit, and blond, which check off several boxes we know somebody in WWE (cough, Vince) likes, so I think she will win over Shirai.

 

Becky Lynch (C) vs Charlotte (Last Person Standing Match for WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship)

 

Can we talk about how Becky Lynch is crushing it right now? In the ring, on the mic, hell even on social media and Youtube she is legit the best thing going in the company. She is the one person I feel the need to watch every single segment or clip the WWE puts out that she is involved in. She deserves to headline this PPV. Instead she will prob get the AJ Styles treatment and go on fourth. Also doing their part is Charlotte, who is putting in justttttt the right amount of classic Flair mannerisms to let fans who want to justify their boos of her to make this that much more interesting. I am ready to see the hell these two women put each other through. I just wish WWE would act like it’s as big of a deal as Nikki Effing Bella. Becky wins and continues to body every single thing that comes across her path.

 

Ronda Rousey (C) vs Nikki Bella (WWE Raw Women’s Championship Match)

 

I heard the idea here was to put the two biggest mainstream women wrestlers against each other to get as many eyes on this as possible. First off, in what reality is Nikki Bella that big of a mainstream star? Stephanie Mcmahon is a way bigger name and would make sense given their past. Second I will not take the essentially retired Bella with a history of neck problems against the baddest women on the planet. IRL Ronda would fart on Nikki and cause her to explode. Third, I do not know how this will be anywhere near the level the Smackdown or NXT title match will be. Fourth, we all know who is going to win, and so really this could end the night on a big old rasberry. Ronda breaks Nikki and we all pine for Ronda vs Lynch at some point.