Graphic Novels, Movies

Trailer Feedback: X-Men: Apocalypse

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“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.” – Revelation 22:13

Apocalypse is coming.

We start with a cold open. Jean Grey (Sophie Turner) has a bleak vision of the end of the world, which no one seems to believe until it’s too late.

Enter Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac), who looks like a menacing, Egyptian Ivan Ooze (but in a good way).

Professor X assembles his team (with nearly if not all the Days of Future’s Past cast reprising their mutant roles alongside a few newcomers), backed by Magneto and Mystique to discuss this matter and figure out how to stop him. Unfortunately, they soon find out that they’ve bitten off more than they can chew when they realize the true nature of Apocalypse’s awesome power (which the trailer does a nice job of sprinkling throughout its two and a half minute tease).

One thing that’s been altered is Apocalypse’s four horseman. While they are not the same from the comics (let alone the Bible), it’s interesting to see that they are ambiguous and can seemingly change on Apocalypse’s whims. It’s also possible that they are under his control the entire time seeing as he possesses Magneto at some point. It seems that two of his riders are Storm (Alexandra Shipp) and Archangel (Ben Hardy) with the other two being surprises.

Nightcrawler’s (Kodi Smit-McPhee) inclusion is also a nice touch and it’s nice not knowing if he will join either side or become caught in the crosshairs.

The trailer itself is well done. Nothing seems out of place, nor is Bryan Singer giving anything significant away. The right amount of dread, suspense and excitement permeate the scenes to build proper hype for this film. Seeing James McAvoy sporting the iconic Professor X look in the closing  moments is a nice touch that a lot were hoping to see at some point in the Singer directed franchise.

If the latest trailers for 2016’s comic book movie lineup feature any recurring theme, it’s war.

We cant’t wait.

 

 

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s WWE TLC 2015 Predictions

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By Frank Lucci

I could start this prediction article with yet another tirade about how poorly the WWE has booked their programs and how the lazy writing from the creative team has made what should be an exciting Pay-Per-View into another mediocre event. Instead, I’ve decided to list three positives to keep in mind while watching TLC.

  1. They have gotten rid of the incredibly stupid stairs add on from last year.
  2. The Big Show is not set to appear.
  3. NXT is holding another Takeover event later in the week.

With this in mind, here are Spaceman Frank’s TLC 2015 predictions.

Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger – Chairs Match for the United States Championship

With a stairs match no longer able to provide people with a bathroom break, the WWE has reverted to having the Chairs match as the least hyped match on the PPV.

Alberto Del Rio has done nothing since returning to the WWE, despite beating John Cena clean for the championship, being managed by Zeb Coulter, joining the already ill-fated League of Nations stable and then (thankfully) ditching Coulter. With Swagger having the same amount of momentum as his opponent (aka zero) and an awkward stipulation to work in, this match is sure to disappoint. I see no reason for Del Rio to lose the belt here or anytime before Cena returns.

The ECW Originals (Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Tommy Dreamer and Rhyno) vs. The Wyatt Family(Bray Wyatt, Braun Strowman, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan) – Elimination Tag Team Tables Match

It is a sad state of affairs when it is disappointing that Spike Dudley is not booked into a feud. ECW reunions are played out beyond belief, but yet again we got to see the four or so semi-functional originals trotted out for a nostalgia pop. The Dudleys have fallen off the map hard since their return over the summer and the Wyatt Family has not fared much better.

That being said, much of the talent in this match should make this an entertaining affair as long as creative does not overbook things. I also like that we finally get all the members of the Wyatt Family involved in a PPV match and Rhyno has shown in NXT that he can still go.

My biggest issue is with Dreamer’s involvement with the match. Dreamer is a veteran performer and is still a decent hand in the ring, but the man has a lengthy history of concussions. Why the WWE would book him into a match that involves massive dudes throwing each other into tables yet Daniel Bryan cannot be booked in any capacity in the WWE despite being medically cleared by independent neurologists is beyond me. With so little star power on Raw and Smackdown these days, Bryan would be a welcome addition to the show as a wrestler, authority figure or even a manager.

Back to the actual match now. With both the Wyatt Family and the Dudley’s hurting for a win this match will be hard to call. I believe the Wyatt Family will pull out a win by taking advantage of the part timers on the ECW team along with the fact that they are massive fucking dudes.

Charlotte (c) (with Ric Flair) vs. Paige – Divas Chapionship Match

It’s mind boggling how badly the WWE has botched this feud. Since creative can’t decide what to do with Charlotte, I would not be surprised to see her turn heel on both Paige and her dad, then immediately turn face and join The New Day for five minutes before forming a new faction with Bo Dallas and Barry Horowitz called “The Charleston Chews.”

Anyway, Charlotte seems to be set to give in to her inner Flair and cheat her way to victory. This would be much more impactful if Becky Lynch was her opponent for the title instead of Paige, who seemed to appear out of nowhere to challenge Charlotte. A placeholder feud between two talented women, Charlotte will retain and most people will remember the likely heel turn more than the in ring action.

The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston and/or Xavier Woods) (c) vs. The Usos (Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso) vs. The Lucha Dragons (Kalisto and Sin Cara) – Tag Team Triple Threat Ladder Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships

Perhaps the best reason to watch TLC, this match seeks to emulate classic ladder matches between several teams and should give these hungry high flyers ample opportunity to steal the show. Granted, the booking leading into the match has been bland besides The New Day’s usual shenanigans, but considering the talent and exciting stipulation here fans can expect some fireworks. The New Day will retain and hopefully get even more chances to get ridiculous on Raw.

Kevin Owens (C) vs. Dean Ambrose – Intercontinental Championship Match

Another potential show stealing match pitches two savvy grapplers against each other for the IC belt. While the pair’s Survivor Series match disappointed, this can be chalked up to the tournament forcing Ambrose to save his energy for his later match. Owens and Ambrose have had a chance to develop chemistry since their previous encounter. If given the right amount of time, these two can definitely give fans something to cheer about and remind people why we enjoy wrestling in the first place. Owens retains and keeps the feud alive for another PPV.

Sheamus (c) vs. Roman Reigns (TLC match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship)

WWE almost had me getting behind Sheamus as champion. His Sheamus 5:15 gimmick and his braggart style was fairly entertaining and showed why he was more deserving of the title than Reigns.  In addition, him forming the League of Nations using several underutilized wrestlers almost had me thinking the internet wrestling community might back him. Then on the go-home Raw before TLC, the WWE booked Sheamus to look pathetic and revealed they have little faith in the man.

The only person looking worse than Sheamus is Reigns, who delivered yet another terrible promo that revolved around casual racism and testicle jokes. And yet WWE still wants us to view Reigns as a sympathetic character despite the fact that:

  1. Reigns has challenged for WWE World Heavyweight Championship on PPV five times (including TLC)  in 2015 (and had two additional championship matches at PPV’s if you include Money in the Bank cash ins).
  2. He also headlined Fastlane in February and won the Royal Rumble.
  3. He partners with Dean Ambrose, who goes from nearly winning the belt to being kicked back down to sidekick status yet again.

Out of 13 total PPV’s in 2015, Reigns has been in the main event seven times. It is time to end the experiment and for WWE to realize that Reigns simply is not main event material at this time. During this time of record low ratings the WWE cannot hope that the mixed reaction Reigns gets will somehow morph into a John Cena style pop (as there is no time to wait for Reigns to figure it all out while ratings tank).

With Cena, at least respect is there. As far as Reigns is concerned, he is headlining the majority of the year’s PPV’s and cannot gain any traction with fans. It was very telling that Reigns got jeers instead of cheers when shown crying after Survivor Series. Even worse is that WWE has sacrificed Sheamus (who could have used his upcoming role in TMNT 2 to gain a new level of popularity and mainstream recognition while being champ) to try to get us to feel bad for a bland guy who gets yet another chance at the gold.

Sadly enough, I see Reigns winning to end the Sheamus experiment and Brock Lesnar finally coming back at the Royal Rumble to set up a WrestleMania rematch between the two.

Graphic Novels, Movies

Trailer Feedback: Captain America: Civil War (Trailer 1) & Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Trailer 2)

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Within the past few weeks there has been quite the buzz among comic book nerds and movie buffs alike. Thanksgiving week saw the debut trailer for Marvel’s Captain America: Civil War while last week DC retaliated with the second trailer for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

While comparing the two would be another anticlimactic round of apples and oranges, going over them in the same piece is sacrilegious enough for everyone.

Captain America: Civil War (Trailer 1)

This has potential to be one of the best comic book films of all time.

Civil War’s first trailer is packed with plenty of action, suspense and plot details without giving too much away. While most fans know the Civil War storyline, it’s nice to see that Hollywood has not begun squeezing the life out of Captain America and the changes have been reworked to fit the main story rather nicely so far.

One major example of this is the prominent display of Black Panther and Falcon filling the shoes of Spider Man and/or The Punisher (Spidey is now rumored, but will more likely be a post-credits Easter egg than in the actual cast and Punisher will debut on Daredevil). While they are supporting characters, their inclusions feel like they are more of a major role than what’s on paper. Black Widow however, takes a back seat (but that’s okay, we know how bad-ass she is).

The tension of Captain America and Iron Man can be cut with a knife. Watching the two bicker before duking it out is one of the highlights of the trailer and the teamwork of Caps and The Winter Soldier could be one of the most iconic scenes in the Marvel movie universe.

Although many questions remain, one stands out above the rest.

Will the Marvel cinematic universe stay true to the comic by killing Captain America?

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Trailer 2)

There is too much going on.

Bruce Wayne meets Clark Kent at a party we can assume is being held by Jessie Eisenberg’s goofball Lex Luthor. Neither get along with not only each other but their costumed counterparts as well. Rather than agree to disagree, their alternate personalities decide to fight. During this battle, Luthor seemingly experiments with and/or alters General Zod’s corpse to create Doomsday – a surefire way to rid the world of both of them. Facing this new terror, Batman and Superman agree to disagree when Wonder Woman appears. The three are set to face off against Doomsday where we can only assume either a) Superman dies to set up a real Superman sequel b) the three heroes emerge victorious, Luthor goes to jail (and hopefully bald) to set up a real Superman sequel or C) Doomsday and/or Luthor get away to set up either a real Superman sequel and/or the long overdue Justice League movie.

If at any point that summary felt like a “walk into a bar” joke it’s because the trailer is simply that. While the initial trailer’s hype was built on mystery, shock and awe – this one took all of that away.

Rather than give us tiny bits of information that leave us with questions Warner Brothers has chosen to present the entire plot of the movie in a three minute presentation.

Not only does it feel like a dead giveaway but we are also introduced to a non-threatening Luthor using Zod’s death as a plot device, Wonder Woman basically saying “hi” and Doomsday (who looks like a Ninja Turtle concept Michael Bay rejected).

The only saving grace is Wonder Woman’s inclusion and the exchange between Kent and Wayne (which are brief, as they should be).

Talk about putting all of your eggs in one basket.

Music, Podcast

Bonesaw Podcast – Episode 23: JC Autobody’s Jonathan Newby

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We get down with Jonathan Newby to chat about his one man/jam Experimental Blues Rock project JC Autobody. We get into Horror, the Indiana Scene, JC Autobody’s newest release “Witches” and more.

For more cool content, check out Bonesawzine.com.

Podcast, Pro Wrestling

Manopera! Episode 6: Everyone is Gob Bluth at Survivor Series

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Not only do Chris and Frank review Survivor Series 2015, but they do so with guests Marques “Box” Younger and Nicholas Jason Lopez of prowrestlingopinion.com for this heated and rambunctious debate.

Graphic Novels, Movies, Podcast, Random

F*ck Mondays! Episode 4: Bucky Dent is Not the Winter Soldier

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Chris and Jon ramble about The Human Centipede: Final Sequence, critic reviews for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Marvel’s Jessica Jones and more in this Thanksgiving Eve podcast. Trailers discussed are Captain America: Civil War and Legends of Tomorrow.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Survivor Series 2015 Predictions

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By Frank Lucci

Survivor Series was once one of only four Pay-Per-View events the WWE (then WWF) put on per year. With the unique elimination tag team setup, Survivor Series became a must-see Thanksgiving event.

However, with Money in the Bank supplanting Survivor Series in importance the event has struggled to live up to it’s own reputation.

With last year’s Team Cena vs Team Authority main event (and the debut of Sting) helping breathe life into the PPV, this year’s edition of Survivor Series seeks to up the ante with a celebration of The Undertaker’s 25 year career and the crowning of a WWE World Heavyweight Champion after Seth Rollins’ knee had enough of wrestling Kane and promptly  self-destructed.

But with WWE’s uneven booking, even these high-profile events have felt fairly lackluster and the mid and lower card matches faring even worse. With that in mind, here are Spaceman Frank’s Survivor Series 2015 predictions.

Traditional Survivor Series 5 on 5 Tag Team Elimination Match (Who the Fuck Knows vs. Are We Supposed to Even Care?)

The WWE has announced a traditional Survivor Series match for this event but has given zero clues as to who will be involved, thus making this a clear time waster for a PPV.

If I had to wager a guess I would say this will be a face versus heel match that means fuck all but will be entertaining with the right talent involved.

My dream scenario is The New Day (who appear to be not defending their Tag Team Titles on the show) teaming with Sheamus (again, who has nothing going on despite being Mr. Money in the Bank) and King Barrett taking on Cesaro, Neville, The Dudley Boyz and Ryback. Regardless of who are on these teams, considering how little build this match has gotten expect the faces to win.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Tyler Breeze (with Summer Rae)

A natural pair of rivals, this match will hopefully serve as an impressive PPV debut for Breeze, who could use a win after losing to Ambrose in the Deadly Games 2: Electric Boogaloo tournament. Hopefully WWE writers have learned from NXT that an aggressive Breeze is the best Breeze and have Prince Pretty take it to Dolph and pick up the win. With Summer Rae having feuded with Ziggler in the past (and seeing his junk) it makes sense for her to help get Breeze a win that kick starts a feud that goes smoother than Ziggler vs Rusev did.

Charlotte (c) vs. Paige (Divas Championship Match)

First off, this match has been overshadowed by the controversial segment that finished the go-home edition of Raw where Reid Flair’s untimely death was brought up. While I personally have nothing against bringing a wrestler’s personal life into a storyline if they and their family is fine with it, this does not look like the case here. Both Ric Flair and Reid’s mother have said they were not aware Reid’s death would be put into the story, which is a major oversight of Charlotte and the WWE’s part.

It should also be noted however that Charlotte has been very vocal in different interviews and WWE programming that it was Reid that convinced her to try pro wrestling and considers her career a tribute to her late brother; so perhaps it should be less shocking to fans that he was mentioned on Raw. Jim Ross pointed out on his website this has lead to people talking about Reid Flair and not Charlotte versus Paige.

As for the actual match between the two, I see Paige upsetting the champ and winning the belt. Although Charlotte has been wrestling very well since coming to the main roster, she seems to be uncomfortable with the title and spotlight on her and may need to spend more time as challenger than champion.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Tournament

Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio w/ Zeb Colter (Semifinal)

Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose (Semifinal)

Rather than predict the two semifinal matches separately I’ve decided to lump them together because the outcomes seem fairly obvious.

Long story short: Reigns looks destined to be champ and Del Rio already has the Gob Bluth “I’ve made a huge mistake” look in his eyes. Reigns wins and hopefully nukes Mexamerica out of existence.

As for Owens vs. Ambrose (which should be match of the night), as tempting as it is to say Owens gets the sneaky win for a heel vs. face final; it’s extremely unlikely. Owens already has the Intercontinental Championship and can serve as the de facto top heel of the company – but only if there is no heel turn to end the night. Which brings us to…

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose (Tournament Final for Deadly Game 2: Electric Boogaloo)

It seems clear from the moment the WWE revealed the bracket for the tournament this match would be destined for the final.

Hell, if not for Kalisto’s upset win over Ryback most would still have a perfect bracket.

That being said, who walks out champ is a much murkier outcome.

Will Vince insist that Reigns, tall, dark and handsome as he is, walks out as a babyface champ? Will the WWE realize that nobody is going to pick Reigns over Ambrose (considering Reigns was literally handed the belt by Triple H before the tournament started while Ambrose has served as Reign’s second banana since the summer and makes for a much more interesting underdog babyface story)? Will Ambrose turn heel? Will Reigns turn heel? Will Paul Heyman show up regardless of winner and declare that Brock Lesnar will challenge for the title? Will John Cena burst through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man to remind everyone that you can’t be the man until you beat the man? Will Big Show ruin everything like he always does? Will Triple H just say “Fuck it” and declare himself champ? Will the WWE go back to the well and have a legend show up to save the day? Is that legend Rick Steiner?? BY GAWD MAGGLE WHO KNOWS!!!

…But seriously it is probably going to be Reigns and we will have to accept that.

The Brothers of Destruction (The Undertaker and Kane) vs. Two Members of The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt and Braun Strowman)

What could have been all of the Wyatt Family taking on two legendary figures and two guys who get instant credibility by standing with them somehow got turned into a normal tag match.

This is better how?

With ‘Taker and Kane’s combined 98 years of age having to take on Wyatt and the big-ass strongman this figures to be a “methodical” (i.e. slow) match. The crowd will be into it because The Undertaker is actually wrestling on two PPV’s in a row, but what was a easy layup for WWE creative has been fucked up by a combination of lazy writing and the fact that FOR FUCK’S SAKE IT’S SURVIVOR SERIES PEOPLE EXPECT A TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH.

Hopefully the Wyatt’s win because we have yet to see Strowman do much besides stand around and Bray simply can’t keep getting pinned by every babyface on the roster. Plus if Taker (and also Kane) are truly retiring soon, then they owe it to the WWE to actually put over somebody who works for the company full time.  If they can’t be bothered to find two worthy wrestlers to team with, then they can lay down for two wrestlers who can use their rub.

Music

Moon Tooth & Co. Take Over Lucky 13’s on Friday the 13

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It was no ordinary Friday the 13th in Brooklyn, NY as Lucky 13 Saloon warded off evil with a Jason Voorhees marathon in the front and a party with some sentient beings in the back.

The evening started off like any other, two beers at the office. When it seemed like the time, I hopped on the train and went down to Sackett Street – the current location of the metal bar. It used to be on 13th street in the same Park Slope region, but they moved to a bigger, livelier and more saloon type place next to a gas station earlier this year. The trek wasn’t as easy as it should’ve been, but it was my own damned fault. The call of the wild had me take a wrong turn at Albuquerque (a stop too soon) so I had a good 25-30 minute hike before I got to the bar which was just what I needed to break in my new shoes.

A quick chat with Moon Tooth’s guitarist Nick Lee and a few minutes later I was in and thirsty as ever. It wasn’t too long into my beer before I realized the end of Friday the 13th Part V was on. Unfortunately, New Line Cinema didn’t have the decency to quit there (even though this was billed in the title as “The Final Friday,” it wasn’t) and made sequels galore. Some were slightly better, most were worse – and those were yet to come.

I ordered another beer.

Shortly after Moon Tooth arrived and after a few phone calls and interviews Lee and I were meeting for the first time. I ordered the man a brew and we chatted for a bit before he went in to get ready.

I didn’t get around to seeing the first two bands as shortly after the first one started my phone rang. Kevin, a friend I had originally planned to meet at Lucky’s was down the street at The Sackett with two of his buddies. It would’ve been nice to catch the full show since the first band (either Beast Modulus or In the Presence of Wolves) had a great sound.

Down at The Sackett I was introduced to Kevin’s associates Richard and Henry. Two beers, a shot and an empanada later they proceeded to tell one of the best Mardi Gras stories this side of the Verrazano. I was starting to feel woozy so I grabbed a burger from Bonnie’s Grill and ran back to Lucky’s to catch the rest of the show as time was growing short before the Tooth would hit the stage. Inside I ordered another cold one and caught the last couple of songs from Valence, but not before some blonde gave me a glow stick (why she had an abundance of them I’ll never know).

This most if not all progressive metal band was incredible. Their playing was tight and the sound had Dream Theater elements but was not oversaturated with John Petrucci and Mike Portnoy worship – which is a very good thing. Valence was not a clone of any kind as they had the right balance of influences and originality sprinkled in. Their lead guitarist did not only play keyboards as well, but was using an Agile – one of the cheapest and most underrated guitar brands around. You can get really quality stuff from them without breaking the bank at the custom shop.

As Valence ended I complimented them on their musicanship and gave the lead guitarist a Bonesaw card. We chatted briefly about doing a podcast so there’s a possibility on the horizon.

Dead Empires took the stage and it was interesting to say the least. There were some progressive elements but there was more of an industrial feel to their sound. They were almost like a fusion of early Nine Inch Nails and Ministry with some Prog/Death Metal thrown in. One interesting factor is that the bass player was one of the driving forces of their sound as his rig was massive. Dead Empires also brought with them a big show/rave vibe with their custom lighting. When their set was up, I did some more schmoozing and shameless plugs with them so we’ll see where that goes as well.

Up next were the big guns, Moon Tooth.

While very friendly and down to earth in person, these guys are professionally trained killers on stage. Not only do Moon Tooth have the energy of a young Bad Brains, but they can keep the audience in the palm of their hands from start to finish. Singer John Carbone is a maniac that never stays in the same place twice. The man is possessed when it’s go time and on this particular day, he probably was. Carbone was throwing himself on and off the stage like a rag doll, tying audience members in tape and at one point playing drums while on the shoulders of actual drummer Ray Marte – who didn’t skip a beat all night as bassist Vincent Romanelli laid back and stayed in the pocket like a boss.

Lee on the other hand, is another animal altogether. Like Carbone, he’s a ball of energy. Unlike Carbone, he tends to stay on the stage – but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t use every quadrant of it. Lee seamlessly plays guitar (this night he was using a Reverend Sensei) while jumping off cabinets, kicking whatever inanimate object is the closest and trying to get on top of the club itself.

Moon Tooth is not just another band from Long Island, Moon Tooth is performance art.

The Tooth played what seemed like a good hour filled with catchy tunes from their Freaks EP as well as a bunch of new tracks from their debut album set to be released early next year with a celebratory show at fellow metal bar Saint Vitus in February. Some highlights were Freak’s “Ebb/Flow,” a new song called “Bats in the Attic” and a cover of Jimi Hendrix’s “Manic Depression” that hadn’t been seen since Carnivore’s version on 1987’s “Retaliation.”

As the night came to a close we said our goodbyes, I picked up a shirt from Carbone and that was that. At around 3:30 A.M., I crawled into bed after a train ride I’m not sure how I had gone on there was one thought that still lingers.

“That was a fucking show.”

Gaming

Warhammer End Times: Vermintide

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Warhammer End Times: Vermintide is a new FPS from developer Fatshark, who are perhaps best known for their Medieval combat game, War of the Roses.

The game takes place in the Warhammer fantasy universe (the lesser-well known sibling of the futuristic Warhammer 40k), both tabletop games from developer Games Workshop. While perhaps not everyone’s favorite Games Workshop IP, Warhammer fantasy still brings rich lore and fun gameplay mechanics to the table. Unlike Warhammer 40k, however, Warhammer fantasy has traditionally not translated as well to the electronic medium.

Vermintide heavily pays homage to Left 4 Dead, with four adventurers fighting through swarms of Skaven- evil humanoid rats with a hatred for mankind in place of zombies. Much like L4D, there are several “special” enemies that have different abilities than the average Skaven.

This is where Vermintide begins to fall short, with the unique Skaven being almost complete rip-offs of L4D enemies. For example, there is an enemy called the Packmaster which hooks players and drags them off (much like the Smoker from L4D), and a Hunter-esque enemy called the Gutter Runner, which leaps onto the player and pins them down while stabbing them. Vermintide even features a direct rip-off of L4D’s tank enemy called the Rat Ogre. Other than the unique Skaven that clearly rip-off L4D, Vermintide’s standard enemies are just plain boring. Hordes of rats run at you much the same way the standard infected in L4D do, with no regards to their own personal safety. That would be fine if every level didn’t include these same enemies either standing around doing nothing or blindly rushing at you like crazy Wal-Mart shoppers on Black Friday. After a while, players will find it almost becomes a chore simply cutting through the same enemies over and over again.

Vermintide’s other big problem is the optimization. Sudden frame rate drops, random bugs and crashes plague Vermintide at random intervals. Even the best machines it seems have sudden frame drops for no apparent reason.

Other than optimization issues, Vermintide’s bugs can make the game range from absolutely hilarious at times to down right frustrating. Many of these bugs happen when one of the game’s special enemies attacks and include players being launched into the sky where their allies can’t save them, or pulled through walls by the Packmaster’s hook. Enemies sometimes even seem to spawn out of nowhere and/or teleport with no explanation as to how. Certain levels also contain easily exploitable designs, making the threat of certain enemies (such as the Rat Ogre) completely moot.

Vermintide’s loot system (while innovative) also fall short. Players may customize their chosen hero with different equipment from weapons to trinkets which add special abilities. At the end of each level, a number of dice are rolled to determine which piece of loot the player receives for winning with higher dice rolls netting the player rarer and more powerful items. These dice rolls can be augmented with pick-ups throughout the level, which add more dice that have a better chance at higher rolls.

Unfortunately because it is completely random, even with the best dice there is no guarantee the player will receive a rare item. This can be very frustrating,  as pretty much the only way to beat higher difficulty levels and ultimately receive rarer loot is to outfit yourself with rare items.

Combat can also be very tedious. Each character is equipped with both a ranged and melee weapon and while some of the weapons are fairly unique, the fighting itself is very straightforward and standard.

For a game whose primary focus is close-quarters combat, Vermintide’s melee combat is just plain boring, usually turning into button mashing as you cut down hordes of enemies. There are no combos and only two different types of attacks – regular “light” hits and heavier “sweeping” hits for crowd control (performed by holding down the attack button briefly). There’s also a block button, but enemies can break your block after just a few hits (more or less depending on the enemy), rendering blocks mostly useless.

One aspect in which Vermintide does well is the playable characters. There are five heroes to choose from, each of which brings a unique gameplay style and a role that they fulfill within the group.

The Soldier for example, uses mostly large melee weapons and powerful muskets/blunderbusses, makes for a great heavy hitter and also can use his huge sweeping attacks for crowd control. The Witch Hunter is almost a hybrid class with a good balance of quick melee and ranged attacks. The Elf Archer is pretty standard, providing ranged support with the quick-firing bow while also able to provide quick melee strikes. The Dwarf Ranger makes a great tank, as his default weapon is an ax/shield combo allowing him to form a living wall in the small corridors and alleyways the players often traverse. Rounding out the list is the Battlemage, who is perhaps the most unique hero of all. While having a fairly week melee attack, the Battlemage can use powerful and fast ranged spells to utterly blow away hordes of Skaven. The Battlemage can also charge up her ranged spell and fire an explosive shard that deals massive damage.

Unfortunately, where Vermintide goes right is not enough to redeem the entire experience. This very well could have been a great game. It has all the right elements: unique characters, a great IP to work with, an innovative loot system, and tons of replayability. Unfortunately, it falls short in far too many of these areas to make it the next big thing. Vermintide becomes far too grindy and predictable after only a short period of play. Perhaps with some time, developer Fatshark will add content to the game such as new levels and enemies that will make the experience more interesting but until then, Vermintide remains just another mediocre FPS.

Graphic Novels, Movies, Podcast

F*ck Mondays! Episode 3: Two Idiots With Kazoos Watch Crank

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real fmondays

Chris and Jon talk Ronda Rousey vs. Holly Holm, Arrow, The Flash and more – all while watching Crank and basking in the glorious world of kazoos. Trailers for Krampus and Marvel’s Jessica Jones are featured.

Music, Movies, More