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Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank Special Report: Matt and Jeff Hardy TNA Slammiversary Contract Signing – The Movie!

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by Frank Lucci

I don’t follow TNA, but still keep up with the various going-ons within the company (mostly to see the latest “LOLTNA” moments that they’ve become synonymous with).

On the latest episode of Impact we got perhaps the best example of why the company is subject to so many “going out of business” rumors. This Tuesday night, we got the epic mini movie for the contract signing between Matt and Jeff Hardy – a piece of cinema so great they put out a director’s cut for those needing to see even more of the intense Hardy acting. Naturally, Spaceman Frank could not help but deliver a blow-by-blow of this masterpiece.

– To kick things off we get opening shots of the Matt Hardy estate, one of which includes a sweeping crane overhead (Isn’t TNA broke? Did they spend their evening’s budget on this or did they just hire one of the Hardy’s friends to climb a tree with a camcorder? Also, who is the director of this movie? I suspect his name rhymes with Shmatt Shmardy).

– Seth Rollins’ dad welcomes us to MTV Cribs! Oh wait, it’s just a rough (and I do mean rough. Don’t do drugs or fall off ladders, kids!) Matt Hardy stepping out of his McMansion – complete with white picket front patio. The house and reality TV establishing shots totally do not line up with the sweeping orchestral score and Matt’s Hot Topic pirate garb.

– Matt invites “all of you, plus the world and Brother Nero,” here in an opening narration while he stands on his walkway making random faces with his arms up (Doesn’t the world pretty much count for everyone already Matt? Or is “all of us” the 33,000 plus people who have watched this YouTube clip?). Halfway through the narration it switches to Matt actually talking (probably due to a passing truck honking its horn during the first part of the speech). Did I mention Matt went from sounding like a good ole boy to putting on a faux posh accent for this movie? Now that’s ka-rayy-zyy!!!

– Jeff Hardy is riding his dirt bike around his admittedly sweet looking property (and smaller McMansion) before driving up to Matt’s (Two questions here. One: Are dirt bikes road legal, or this this how we figure out that Jeff is a rebel? And two: FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR HELMET JEFF!?). Here come more crane shots of Jeff driving with a heavy metal soundtrack as he pulls up to Matt’s house, which hilariously has a big “H” on the front gate like he’s fucking Batman.

– Reby Sky (Matt’s wife) is there to meet Jeff, who mumbles something about it being a trap. Sky doesn’t have time for that though, because Matt is acting ka-rayy-zyy and she’s getting the hell out of here. Jeff is super upset about this, despite the fact that she’s getting her infant son out of the way of a “crazy” guy and is actually being a responsible human being. Jeff storms into the building, where Matt is playing piano – the craziest of all instruments (besides the piccolo). Matt gives another monologue about how this is not about the contract signing, but about how Jeff needs to see that Matt is solely responsible for the success of the Hardys (because it was Matt’s daredevil antics and good looks that lead to him becoming WWE Champion and having an amazing feud with CM Punk…oh wait…).

– Jeff responds by shouting a whole bunch (you know, to add drama). Honestly, despite Matt’s accent changing roughly every scene he’s a better actor than Jeff because he’s at least trying. Tommy…err, Matt decides that to settle this once and for all, the contract signing for their match at Slammiversary needs to happen at “the sanctuary of our genesis” aka an old ring in a barn. Epic music plays as Matt walks to the barn and stops to say hi to his gardener, which makes me immediately flash back to this infamous scene from “The Room” (below). Jeff ignores the gardener, most likely because he keeps getting smash-cut to different places.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOdjtiOMGbA

– Matt’s in the middle of the ring, until Jeff storms the barn. As Jeff gets close enough to the squared circle Matt attempts to roll out of the ring but clearly has trouble doing so. Matt looks less than graceful here, especially with the contract and his coat flopping around audibly in the massive barn. A conveniently placed table is next to the ring and is literally the only other thing in this room. Matt signs the contract, but Jeff wants to get it on with “Big Money Matt” and his “sarcastic ass.” Anyway, the camera does a 360-degree shot of the two (or at least attempts it before the cameraman realizes he can’t go all the way around the brothers with the table being too close to the ring and then he just kind of starts going the other way). TNA: Combining immaculate storytelling with quality camera work for 14 years.

– Things get taken up another notch on the ka-rayy-zyy scale as Sky comes back and throws Jeff her baby, but it’s a fake (OH LAWD, SOMEBODY CALL SNITSKY!!!). Matt then blast Jeff from behind with some sort of green bottle – in this massive barn where we just established was completely empty aside from a wrestling ring and a table with a contract on it. This leads to the epic climax where Jeff takes a Side Effect off the ring apron onto the table – in slow motion. Honestly, the bump looks painful as the ground is concrete and the table is a regular roundtable that just breaks at the base instead of in half; but the slow motion effect kills this moment. Matt recovers and declares that “Brother Nero is over” as we fade to black.

Final thoughts: Wow…just wow. I really want to know whose idea this was. They could have filmed this at the Impact Zone on the cheap and it would have been much better. Smash style editing, hokey music, hammy acting and a nonsensical story makes this a hallmark of TNA badness. At this point, I’ve had my fill of TNA for the rest of year but chances are I’ll see Dixie Carter and company in 2017 when we get the sequel they’ll claim we “demanded.”

Podcast, Pro Wrestling

Manopera! Episode 18: Extreme Rules 2016 Ups, Downs and Brand Splits

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“Spaceman” Frank reveals his new “Dudley” inspired gimmick before he and Chris divulge into WWE Extreme Rules, the brand split returning and Money in the Bank possibilities.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s WWE Extreme Rules 2016 Predictions

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by Frank Lucci

It’s the time of the year where WWE gets as extreme as the PG rating will allow, and the company is trying to carry some momentum into the critical Summer season.

The second Pay-Per-View of May, Extreme Rules is wedged between Payback and Money in the Bank (which has essentially become the Royal Rumble of the Summer). Throw an NXT TakeOver special into the mix and it would have been understandable for the WWE to sit on their laurels and phone it in for Extreme Rules (TakeOver won’t be happening until June 8). However, the influx of new talent has made the WWE and Raw in particular much better since WrestleMania. While there have been some hiccups, Extreme Rules has the potential to be a very good show.

Kickoff: Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin (No Disqualification Match)

At Payback, Ziggler managed to get the sneaky pin on The Lone Wolf, but all signs point to Corbin getting the win here. While falling short in their previous pre-show match, Corbin has been very aggressive since his debut and needs a decisive win  to help put him over with casual fans who missed his NXT work and his ‘Mania victory in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.

Ziggler can make anybody look like a million bucks, but after doing the favors for Corbin he can hopefully go back to being main event cannon fodder.

The New Day (c) vs. The Vaudevillians (WWE Tag Team Championships Match)

The New Day remains one of the most entertaining elements of WWE, but they’ve lost a step since becoming full-blown babyfaces. For one thing, losing at ‘Mania to a faction that no longer exists and not having a match at the following Pay-Per-View doesn’t help. Secondly, not being squirrely jerks anymore means they can’t fully commit to being the perfect trolls we fell in love with.

While The Vaudevillians are doing far better than most expected on the main roster, they’re potentially tag team filler while Enzo Amore recovers from his scary concussion at Payback. The New Day retains in a good match.

Kalisto (c) vs. Rusev (United States Championship Match)

With Ryback seemingly on his way to being “future endeavored,” Kalisto has found a new massive monster trying to capture his title.

The better half of the Lucha Dragons has become the master of making something out of nothing, as his U.S. championship run has consisted of him pulling off great matches with little build. He pushed Ryback to new heights with his downright amazing moves and Rusev’s own freak athleticism has me almost thinking this could be the sleeper hit of the night (if only we could get a real effort from the WWE to promote the U.S. title again like last year).

Kalisto gets the win:  50% based on Rusev being a recent lame duck and 50% is me holding out for Sin Cara to betray Kalisto and challenge for the title before he sinks too far into the Jannetty realm.

The Usos vs. The Club (Tornado Tag Team Match)

First off: THE CLUB??? THAT’S THE BEST WWE CAN DO??? A million different options and the WWE decide to make Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson sound like they go to AJ Styles’ basement and drink mojitos while playing Team Fortress 2.

Since their debut, the two have been losing a disturbing amount to Roman Reigns (which is understandable given that he’s champ) and The Usos (who have not done shit all year) all well acting as pawns to the larger Styles/Reigns feud. That being said, they have been putting on good matches (albeit mostly reruns) and I see them winning at Extreme Rules to add more intrigue to the main event. 

Charlotte (c) vs. Natalya (Women’s Championship Submission Match – Ric Flair is banned from ringside)

After the frankly downright embarrassing ending to their Payback match, these two women are facing off again with the added stipulation that Charlotte’s father Ric Flair is banned from ringside (presumably Nattie’s uncle Bret Hart does not need to be banned from ringside since he openly didn’t want to be at Payback and therefore wouldn’t be caught dead at ringside for the rematch).

It’s easy to forget that this is the third PPV match between the two (if you count Roadblock) and WWE has made some questionable moves such as Ric saying he doesn’t think his daughter can win without him (watch out Titus we got a new father of the year here) and THE FUCKING SCREWJOB FINISH IN 2016. I will scream if Charles “Little Naitch” Robinson is again the referee for this match. Charlotte wins because we all know her versus Sasha Banks is going to happen.

Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose (First-Ever Asylum Match)

Strait out of WCW it’s the debut of the Asylum Match! This twisted match (that can only be won by pinfall or submission) features weapons lined all along the top of the cage, giving it a unique flavor beyond typical vanilla cage matches. The problem is that a) this is the PG era and b) Jericho is unlikely to take big bumps this late in his career. Add in WWE’s desperate attempt to show how “ka-raaay-zee” Dean Ambrose is and this will be a well worked match that is instantly forgettable.

The Miz (c) vs. Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens (Fatal Four-Way Intercontinental Championship Match)

While many are disappointed the Owens vs. Zayn feud is not getting a true Extreme Rules continuation, the addition of Cesaro and The Miz has been done very well. Merging the two separate feuds makes sure this will get the proper time on the PPV and lead to a stellar match.

Everyone has played their parts well and special mention goes to The Miz for being the perfect smarmy Hollywood champion (along with his equally perfect real-life wife Maryse) who has shown his ability to hang with three of the biggest indy darlings in the WWE.

The only wrinkle in the buildup is the WWE insisting that we see these four go at it over and over again – meaning this actual match between the four already feels like it has been going on for several months rather than weeks. This is a toss up, so I will say The Miz retains due to some type of Maryse related shenanigans.

Roman Reigns (c) vs. AJ Styles (Extreme Rules Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship)

Since Payback the WWE has continued to play it smart with these two. Styles has been pushed into acting more aggressive and gelling with Gallows and Anderson, but only after several beatdowns from Reigns and The Usos. This is essentially the match we should have gotten at Payback, seeing as that one eventually became a “No DQ” anyway.

Styles is more of a natural underdog here, but if The Club takes out The Usos earlier I see a situation where he is given a chance to go full heel but refuses, leading to his defeat once again. Seeing this, The Club then turns on their friend for being weak – instantly making Styles the white-meat babyface the company desperately needs.

As for Finn Balor, it seems like talk of him jumping to the main roster has cooled, so I doubt he will be much of a factor here. On top of that, Balor is scheduled to face Samoa Joe inside a steel cage at the next NXT TakeOver event (making his arrival at Extreme Rules even more unlikely).

With Reigns vs. John Cena rumored for SummerSlam and Styles a prime candidate for a Money in the Bank win I see Reigns keeping his championship in a big brawl.

Podcast, Pro Wrestling

Manopera! Episode 17: WWE Payback 2016 Feedback

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What went down at WWE Payback? Chris and Frank have the answers (or at least they think they do). Find out what the boys have to say as they mull over Payback’s strong points, weak points and everything in between.

Pro Wrestling

Bullet Club Must Debut at Extreme Rules

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For months WWE has been teasing the debut of the Bullet Club.

Rather than deliver the goods at what appeared to have been gift wrapped by booking, WWE continued to play mind games with the WWE Universe at both last Sunday’s WWE Payback and this past Monday Night Raw.

It now seems very obvious that possibly the hottest stable since the NWO will make their debut at WWE Extreme Rules on Sunday, May 22 in New Jersey’s Prudential Center.

Unfortunately, due to the near perfect setup at Payback it looks as though the debut will come out of necessity.

WWE World Heavyweight Champion Roman Reigns and A.J. Styles had a phenomenal match until the (initial) finish, when Styles defeated Reigns via countout. Unsatisfied with this decision, Shane McMahon decided to restart the match and added a no countout stipulation.

This was fine until Reigns hit an accidental low blow on the challenger, resulting in a disqualification. Equal parts unhappy with the outcome and wanting to upstage her brother, Stephanie McMahon re-restarted the match with no countouts and no disqualifications to determine a clear winner.

Out came Styles buddies the Good Brothers, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson followed by Reigns’s cousins the Usos.

Things just got interesting.

The match went on with minor distractions for each competitor and their feuding cohorts as they all began brawling. It seemed as if any moment Finn Balor and Shinsuke Nakamura would make their main roster debuts and give the WWE Universe the notorious Bullet Club.

Nope.

Instead Reigns defeated Styles with a Spear, who was given an Extreme Rules rematch at (you guessed it) Extreme Rules almost immediately by the McMahons due to his incredible performance (which is fine).

With a six man tag match main event between Styles, the Good Brothers, Reigns and the Usos set for the following Raw, it almost seemed as if the Bullet Club would surely debut the next night.

Nope.

With Extreme Rules coming up at the end of the month, the fans are getting restless and the surprise factor is fading. WWE must strike while the iron is hot or they run the risk of shooting the Bullet Club down before it has a chance to fire its first round.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s WWE Payback 2016 Predictions

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by Frank Lucci

With WrestleMania 32 in the books, the WWE has wisely decided to switch Payback and Extreme Rules around on the Pay-Per-View calendar; or at least it would have been if WWE had booked more WrestleMania rematches instead going with fresh feuds (with only two feuds receiving a continuation from previous events).

Semantics aside, this Pay-Per-View has an exciting vibe to it due to those new rivalries and Payback could make up for a lackluster ‘Mania if done right. Here is Spaceman Frank’s Payback 2016 predictions.

Side note: Vince Mcmahon will be at the event to decide if either Shane or Stephanie gets control of WWE. Since this isn’t an actual match I won’t do a full prediction for it, but if I had to take a guess I’d say Stephanie gets Raw and Shane gets SmackDown! so the WWE can have their cake and eat it too.

Kickoff Match: Kalisto vs. Ryback (United States Championship Match)

One of the few ongoing rivalries from ‘Mania where both men had a surprisingly good match. WWE rewarded Kalisto and Ryback by giving them even less build for this match and another pre-show time slot.

It’s unclear what plans WWE has for the U.S. title, as it seems pushed down the card in favor of trying to rebuild the tag team division. Why we can’t have both I have no idea. With all the new talent coming in and taking up TV time, this is hurting not only both men involved, but the U.S. Championship as well (Open challenge anyone?). Kalisto wins because he is bright, colorful and will pop the crowd.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin finally made the leap to the main roster at ‘Mania 32 with his shocking Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal victory and so far his build mirrors that of his NXT booking.

Ziggler is also being booked much like Corbin was in NXT, acting as the gatekeeper to the main event for new people trying to break the glass ceiling. The Lone Wolf has a good shot at impressing fans in his first proper Pay-Per-View match, but I see Ziggler getting the sneaky win so Corbin can beat him up some more so the two can have a match at Extreme Rules with a wacky stipulation (kiss my arse match anyone???)

Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho

Cool dad Jericho is still around trying to hang out with all the hip young people in the WWE. Ambrose is a decent opponent for the part timer, but beating Jericho won’t make up for his weak showing at ‘Mania.

Rather than build off of their incident at last year’s Night of Champions, WWE decided that this feud should play out over increasingly bland talk show segments. Considering that last month Jericho beat the WWE Championship’s number one contender A.J. Styles and Ambrose was taking on Brock Lesnar, it’s hard to get excited for this. Ambrose wins and Jericho threatens to bury more people on Raw.

The Miz vs. Cesaro (Intercontinental Championship Match)

The WWE finally get an injured wrestler back and Cesaro has been killing it as stripper James Bond despite the one-liner contest he had with The Miz on the go-home Raw.

The Miz has also been fantastic since winning the Intercontnental title and having his real-life wife Maryse on television with him. I didn’t think it was possible to want to punch The Miz in the face any more than I wanted to before, but believe it or not I actually do. Even more shocking, I see The Miz cheating to keep the championship from Cesaro as The Miz needs a legit IC title reign and at this point Cesaro doesn’t because he’s still fresh off of his triumphant return.

Charlotte vs. Natalya (Women’s Championship Match)

This match has been overshadowed in recent weeks by the behavior of the two men in each women’s corner. Ric Flair made headlines when it was rumored he was drunk at an airport, though it appears he merely injured his hand and went to an airport bar to kill time. Bret Hart on the other hand (pun intended), has openly criticized the WWE, stating that he has no interest in appearing at Payback (Way to sell the feud, fellas!).

Charlotte has hit her stride as champ, but WWE could easily give Nattie a title reign  to help build the the championship’s lineage. With outside drama overshadowing the in-ring story, I see Charlotte retaining in a good match.

Enzo & Big Cass vs. The Vaudevillians (Number One Contenders match for the WWE World Tag Team Championships)

While the Vaudevillains have quietly been a solid addition to the main roster, Enzo and Cass have absolutely crushed it since appearing on the post-‘Mania Raw.

It still seems crazy that these two teams are facing off for the number one contendership and both teams will make great foils to The New Day (who again are not defending their titles on Pay-Per-View).

The Vaudevillians will win this match for two simple reasons: First, The Vaudevillians are the only heels between the three tag teams, leading to a more natural feud. Second, if the Dudley Boyz do not interfere in this match and cost Enzo and Cass their title shot then they will be the biggest putz’s in Dudleyville for letting the rookies walk all over them.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

The epic rivalry between these two is fully reignited after several teases and they are going to have an absolute slobberknocker of an encounter. For many fans, this match alone is the big reason to watch Payback.

If Owens and Zayn get a good amount of time this is 100 percent stealing the show. The only negative I can think of is that it seems obvious that this rivalry is continuing into Extreme Rules. Zayn gets a surprise victory followed by Owens beating The Underdog From the Underground into a pulp afterwards.

Roman Reigns vs. A.J. Styles (WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match)

Roman Reigns in a feud we care about (GASP!)?

With so many moving parts at play, WWE has built up a lot of potential for this match and fans are eager to see what twists and turns will play out. It seems obvious that the Good Brothers and the Usos will be factors. There’s also been subtle hints former NXT Champion Finn Balor and possibly Nakamura could also be at play here (Bullet Club debut anyone?). Throw in the potential for many different heel/face turns from everyone involved and this may be the best feud Reigns has had since becoming a main-eventer.

The only slight criticisms I have for the build is Reigns constantly repeating his “I’m the man” schtick (Even his attempts at being nonchalant seem incredibly forced. Reigns reminds me of people who constantly claim that they are “for real” and “don’t have time for fake ass people.”) and the hype surrounding this match is all about what will happen at either the end or after rather than match itself (which will be excellent). Reigns wins, Balor debuts and takes control of the Bullet Club who then lay waste to Reigns and Styles.

Pro Wrestling

3 Ways WWE Can Introduce Bullet Club At Payback

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This Sunday at WWE Payback, AJ Styles will face Roman Reigns for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

With the recent additions of Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson to the main roster as well as Finn Balor losing his NXT Championship and Shinsuke Nakamura’s semi-alignment with Balor, everyone knows what’s coming.

The imminent arrival of the infamous Bullet Club.

Although nothing directly has been done to say what’s going to happen, the tease has been generating a buzz and mass speculation on how WWE will form the beloved New Japan stable (and what name they will be given as New Japan not only continues to use the name with its latest incarnation but also recently blocked WWE’s attempt to trademark “Bullet Club.” In the meantime, WWE has been testing the waters with “Balor Club” t-shirts and occasionally using the hashtag #Bulletproof around the members).

With that said, here are three possible scenarios for the stables WWE invasion.

Option I: Bullet Club 

The easiest route of the three, AJ Styles has been saying for weeks that while Gallows and Anderson are his friends, he is not in cahoots with them. That hasn’t stopped the “Good Brothers” (as they’ve dubbed themselves on social media and the GB hashtag on their entrance robes seen on this weeks Raw) from interfering in Styles matches and segments, attacking Reigns and his cousins the Usos nearly every time one of them is in front of a camera. Naturally, Reigns isn’t buying Styles argument and it seems as if we shouldn’t either.

This possible outcome goes like this: Moments before the finish, Styles comes clean and aligns himself with the Good Brothers. The three men trade blows with Reigns and the Usos for awhile until the Samoan family begin to get the upper hand. Out come Balor and Nakamura to finish the job and the Bullet Club lay waste to Reigns and his cousins. It would be great to see Styles take home the gold due to these shenanigans but it’s more likely that Reigns would retain due to a disqualification. Either way, the Bullet Club has a strong debut; standing in the middle of the ring with all guns blazing.

Option II: Bulletproof AKA The Roman Empire

This one is a bit messy.

Rather than have Styles come out as the ringmaster, WWE could pull a 180 and have Reigns be the mastermind behind a new stable.

During the match, the Usos and Good Brothers start fighting alongside Reigns and Styles. Balor and Nakamura slowly make their way to the ring and everyone stops. The two look at Reigns, then at Styles and everyone subsequently attacks the Phenomenal One with the freshly turned heel Champion Reigns smiling while his also newly turned cousins hold up the Bullet Club’s former third leader. Rather than a five man stable, we now have seven warriors that make for an extremely dominant faction.

Despite MAJOR plot holes in the storyline, Reigns can revert back to his role in the Shield as the heavy, brooding leader while Styles is immediately the white-meat babyface the company so desperately needs. Long story short, everybody wins (for the most part).

Option III: Balor Club

While surely the least likely, there’s nothing more sinister than option three.

All six men (Reigns, Styles, the Good Brothers and the Usos) are engaged in combat when Balor and Nakamura enter. Like option two, everyone stops when they get in the ring. Like option two, Balor and Nakamura exchange glances with Styles and Reigns. Unlike option two, the Good Brothers, Balor and Nakamura destroy everyone.

With Reigns, Styles and the Usos laid out Balor picks up the mic and announces the Balor Club’s arrival. He mentions how Styles was a good leader in Japan but he’s come back to take his rightful place and announces himself as the next WWE World Heavyweight Champion (which he becomes). In the aftermath, Styles and Reigns set their differences aside and create an alternate on/off stable with the Usos to fight the good fight and end Balor Club’s reign of terror.

This is the most logical route because of Styles and Balor’s history in the Bullet Club (Balor is a founding member and the original leader while Styles became the third leader after Balor had departed to NXT. The two were never in the faction at the same time).  The two can have a storied rivalry while building it off of real life situations. Styles becomes a tremendous babyface, Balor becomes the company’s top heel and who knows, the crowd might finally start cheering for Reigns and the Usos again.

Podcast, Pro Wrestling

Manopera! Episode 16: Remembering Chyna with Bullet Club Dreams

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After the breaking news of WWE Superstar Joanie “Chyna” Laurer’s passing, Chris and Frank pay their respects to the Ninth Wonder of the World before getting into TNA’s possible new partners, WWE Payback’s build so far and fantasy booking the Bullet Club’s official WWE arrival.

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WWE Breaking Ground: Episode 7 – Proving Ground

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by Frank Lucci

After a delay due to a WrestleMania weekend induced wrestling coma, Spaceman Frank is here to once again recap Breaking Ground. With several NXT wrestlers from the show now on the main roster, it will be especially poignant to see them trying to make their mark down in Florida.

We immediately start where episode six left off with Carmella getting a concussion due to Eva Marie being the worst and just straight-up kicking her head off. Carmella is escorted back and head NXT trainer Matt Bloom makes sure she’s OK and reminds her that it is imperative that she protects herself in the ring and lets people know if she’s hurt mid-match. Bloom sympathizes with Carmella but sees this as a chance for her to show how tough she can be.

To help Carmella feel better after her match her boyfriend Big Cass, her BFF Bayley, and ENZO FREAKING AMORE go out to a suspiciously deserted restaurant. Suddenly this has turned into Table for 3…errr 4. Bayley gets a side of beans which leads to Amore making fart jokes (100% approval rating from Spaceman Frank). The group then makes fun of Cass for snoring and being so tall that his piss goes everywhere when using the bathroom and sounds like a waterfall (I love this show. Follow Enzo for season two please). Eventually they reveal that Carmella isn’t concussed, which is good.

Once the gang gets back to Florida, we see Bloom arriving before dawn where he works out in the Performance Center along with coach Amato. He manages to pinch his nipple ring (dude you are in your forties get that shit removed). Baron Corbin rides his motorcycle to the PC (again without his helmet!) and does a shitty parking job because that’s what a good heel would do. Bloom farts around keeping the NXT wrestlers focused, which pretty much boils down to keeping Mojo Rawley and ZZ on point. For whatever reason a giant cardboard cutout of Tyler Breeze adorns the trainer’s area of the building.

Lovepreet returns, training with Robbie Brookside for an upcoming battle royal. Lovepreet gives a dick punch to a dude he’s trying to hoof out of the ring, which Brookside obviously isn’t thrilled about. Nhooph is practicing her entrance with William Regal, who gives great tidbits concerning how to work both the crowd and camera during the entrance. Her entrance is pretty bland and feels like a generic “create-an-entrance” from WWE video games.

Next we see the NXT women going to a makeup/skincare class. Seems pretty sexist that the women have to do this, yet the men – who also have to worry about the same problems of looking presentable on TV are not shown doing makeup tutorials. Bayley admits she needed these classes when she first arrived, which is why we love her so much.

In a cool behind the scenes bit we see that NXT rookies put on mini shows at the Performance Center in front of more established wrestlers and coaches to get more in-ring experience. This also includes rookie announcers and proper entrances. Lovepreet works a tag match, but we don’t see much of what happened. Nhooph does her entrance, which does not go well with the crowd. She tries to cut a promo, which she also bombs as the wrestlers boo her mercilessly (hilariously booing even when she announces she is from “Toronto…that’s in Canada!”). Tino Sabatelli “main events” the show against Tucker Knight, which goes decently.

It’s Halloween and Carmella and Cass are carving pumpkins. Carmella is worried about getting cleared to compete again the next day and Cass plays the supportive boyfriend role. Next we see Bayley at home with her boyfriend (aka the most hated man in the world for dating the internet’s favorite girl). Bayley talks about her match with Sasha Banks at NXT Takeover: Brooklyn as her boyfriend has a man-bun and is the worst. They bring up how Bayley is the last of the Four Horsewomen in NXT, which drives her to get to the main roster soon.

ZZ drives a car he can’t possibly afford to go volunteer at an alligator park (yes, those exist). He wrangles a giant snapping turtle and helps move a gator to a bigger pen. It’s amazing that ZZ is more comfortable doing this rather than eating right and exercising. That being said, it’s great to see ZZ in his element and looking confident for once.

Carmella passes her in-ring physical with flying colors, which is no surprise at this point. Bayley has a meeting with coach Amato, who puts over how Bayley’s fan base has diversified the NXT audience. Amato wants Bayley to focus on grooming the next generation of NXT women wrestlers, which explains why she has worked programs with Nia Jax and Carmella.

Lovepreet hosts Robbie Brookside to an Indian meal, which is petty adorable. Meanwhile, Bayley drives Carmella and Tough Enough winner Sara Lee to a show (shouldn’t Lee, the rookie be driving the vets?). Lovepreet and a few other Indian wrestlers are driving to the show as well and Lovepreet is nervous about his upcoming match. He’s in a Battle Royal and Braun Strowman makes a cameo as one of the other competitors and stands out with his Wyatt Family ring gear. Lovepreet actually eliminates someone before getting tossed out. Carmella makes her in-ring return as well.

THE BOSS IS HERE! Not Sasha Banks but Triple H, who requests a meeting with Banks and Bayley. The two divas reunite and immediately go into bestie mode until Hunter shows up for their meeting. Strangely, this meeting takes place in the bleachers of Full Sail (which makes me think this meeting was shot specifically for the show). The ladies are nervous about the meeting and the episode ends on a cliffhanger.

Long story short, Breaking Ground’s seventh installment is a decent episode featuring a lot of feel-good segments with the highlight being Amore making his first big appearance on the show.

Pro Wrestling

WWE Breaking Ground: Episode 6 – Road Trip

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by Frank Lucci

Another “road trip” style episode of Breaking Ground sees NXT go to Louisville, KT, Nashville, Tenn. and the official debut of Baymella! Let’s get right into it.

We see “Stone Cold” Canyon Ceman giving out raises and firing Cal Bishop again right off the bat. Ceman repeatedly puts over how competitive NXT is and given Bishop’s injury history (and the flood of new talent they were acquiring) that he was expendable. Bishop looks wrecked and he leaves without shaking Ceman’s hand (which is kinda shitty but hey dude just got fired). Everyone is sad about Bishop and Nia Jax even cries during her talking head segment (DAMN YOU CEMAN, YOU MADE NXT’S MONSTER HEEL CRY!).

After that frankly depressing business it’s time for another road trip.

We find out Carmella and Big Cass live together, hopefully with Enzo Amore living in the basement like a petulant teenager (Now that is a sitcom idea if I ever heard one). Carmella claims what you see on TV mirrors their real life, so I assume every time they enter a room Amore informs people that Big Cass is seven foot tall (and you can’t teach that). They make omelettes and steaks before five A.M. due to the upcoming trip and Bayley shows up with a tiny dog for some reason. Carmella cries over Bayley potentially being called up and leaving her without her best friend (Dawwwww). The gang arrives at the airport for the beginning of a 18 hour day.

After the travel segment we meet a new NXT rookie, Lovepreet, a Pehlwani (ancient form of grappling dating back to 5,000 BC and was studied by Karl fucking Gotch) wrestler from India. He was discovered by Ceman and William Regal during one of their many international trips to find potential talent for the WWE. Lovepreet seems like a humble dude, but this segment pretty much exists to show how WWE looks all over the world for their talent.

Back to Louisville where the music festival NXT is performing at is dealing with flash storms subsequently turning the place into one giant mud pit. This apparently calls for the tour bus to hit up the nearest shoe store, as everyone scrambles for new footwear to avoid dragging mud into the ring. Jason Jordan finds Jordan knockoffs (I see what you did there) called Catapults (A quick Google search reveals the highest priced Catapults are $30). Needless to say, everyone makes fun of Jordan for his selection.

Apparently it took 12 hours for the NXT crew to get there, and the Superstars have to rush to get ready. Hilariously, when we get a wide shot of the bus it seems like maybe 8 people are in it, which does not seem very cost efficient.

An autograph signing before the show reveals a fan who made a Baymella Army shirt, which has each girl super stoked. Carmella loves Bayley because she is a good friend and role model while Bayley loves Carmella because she does the string connected to your lips trick and I love them both because they are adorable human beings (#SpacemanBaymella Triumvirate). Also, one fan gets a picture with Carmella but uses hover hands instead of actually touching her (FOR SHAME, SIR JUST TOUCH HER SHOULDER). Bayley helps produce a match between Eva Marie and Alexa Bliss, which Bayley takes a huge opportunity to learn how matches come together from a television standpoint.

Baron Corbin is here again to remind us of his “lone wolf-ness” and how he wants to move up to the main roster. Coach Bloom acknowledges he works hard in the ring, but does not have enough character and mic development to move past NXT (Pretty spot on there, though I would love to see him paired with Paul Heyman). Corbin to his credit knows he has to improve outside the ring and discusses how football taught him not to show emotions while he knows he has to emote constantly for his current career.

For whatever reason we get a segment where the NXT talent and coaches go to a haunted sanitarium. An obvious spot inserted simply to kill time (in an episode that is already 36 minutes long) sees Corbin loving it, Jordan being scared and a bunch of post production horror film cliches thrown in. Pretty lame.

NXT hits Nashville and everyone is pumped to go the country music capitol of the world for the first time. Bayley messes with Jordan when he asks for an autographed poster, which shows why she is the best yet again. Jordan and Gable get hyped (pun intended) to face Enzo and Big Cass. Corbin being the oddball, goes to a weird goth shop with a friend to look at bones and shrunken heads. Corbin buys human brain samples from the insane asylum, which I’m sure his girlfriend will love.

Lovepreet is back, and he struggles in promo class due to english being his second language. He says his english is not good, but he seems fairly well spoken in his talking head segments. He cuts a bare bones promo in class that goes over well and MY BOY Sami Zayn gives him advice about speaking confidently and with a clear goal.

On the road Bayley puts over the Nashville crowd. Curiously, she says she’s surprised the place was sold out with 1,300 people, but when I went to see NXT in Albany we sold out the place that seats nearly 5,000, so that seems like a scripted line for her talking head segment. Jordan and Gable impress the coaches. Carmella has a match with Eva Marie where a stiff kick to the head gives Carmella a concussion to end the match. The episode ends with Carmella receiving medical attention.

Why is Marie on the main roster again?

A great episode of Breaking Ground shows several favorites (Bayley, Carmella, Jordan, etc.) in their element and keeps the reality show forced segments (besides the asylum bit) to a minimum. A strong episode that is a breeze to watch.