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Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania Moments: #3 – The Attitude Era’s Supernova

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. The Rock, WrestleMania X-7

WrestleMania X-7 (or 17 to those who the words “attitude” and “extreme” do not apply to) is regarded as the best WrestleMania of all time, and for good reason. It features several classic battles and marks the distinct end of the Monday Night Wars and showcased the deep WWE roster during their most successful period. No other WrestleMania looks and feels like this one, including the ones that came immediately before and after it. This is the singularity in the center of the WWE Universe, and more than any other event is the reason the company is still going strong today. This is modern wrestling distilled into its most basic form, and at its nucleus is the main event between Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock.

Even though these two faced off two years earlier at WrestleMania 15, circumstances had changed so much in the wrestling world that their previous encounter felt like ancient history. It would be like if the WWE decided to put John Cena vs. The Rock on at WrestleMania 34 after Cena becomes the new Superman in the Justice League movie and it grosses $3 billion worldwide. Both men had reached absurd levels of mainstream success since ‘Mania 15, and I would rate The Rock and Stone Cold as numbers one and three respectively of wrestlers normal people are likely to recognize (two is Hulk Hogan and Cena is a distance fourth due to the memes). If both men stuck around I could have seen a scenario where these guys constantly headline every other WrestleMania until…well today and fans would still be into it all.

It’s unimaginable that WWE would have one super hot megastar on their roster, let alone two, so this is already catapulted into the top ten. It also doesn’t hurt that the crowd for this match is on fire, the story leading into it is on point, and both men happen to be damn good wrestlers. This moment is proof that WWE had the most success when they gave the wrestlers a chance to adapt to what the crowd wanted and let the most talented people on the roster shine on their own merits instead of trying to lead audiences by the nose (makes coughing noises).

We start off with one of, if not the best video packages WWE has ever produced (the fact that I say that with Limp Bizkit playing over it is mind boggling). Stone Cold won the Royal Rumble, The Rock beat Kurt Angle at the next PPV, and here we are. The only two  things I would really change is jamming Debra (Stone Cold’s then real wife) into the picture, and Stone Cold’s look. I know it’s an iconic look, but the dude’s knee braces/shorts combo makes him look like an old man with garters on. Every staredown, every line of their sitdown interview we see, every physical blow between the two is pure gold, and it all revolves around the WWE Championship, as it should be.

Howard Finkel is here to announce this is a No-Disqualification match, and WWE should have him announce the main event of every WrestleMania since he named the damn thing. Stone Cold comes out to the best song Disturbed every recorded (again, licensed music makes wrestlers seem so much more legit) and a massive pop.  Rocky gets a mild pop and his classic movie sounds like call holding music to me. Commentator Paul Heyman reminds us that Stone Cold is a man of integrity which is why Texas loves its native son (not because of the swearing, beer drinking, and ass kicking). Speaking of ass kicking, things immediately break down as the two trade blows. This is how to start a WrestleMania main event, and if Brock Lesnar and Goldberg just stand there after all that has happened between them (as I assume they will headline) I will be pissed. We get brawling around the floor and flurries of punches and kicks with the occasional big move through in. Heyman and JR sell everything so well, and I do not think there has ever been a better commentary team despite their brief tenure together.

Rocky ends up bleeding due to a shot to the head via ring bell and then flops on a table that breaks under his weight. One of the funniest accidental moments in WrestleMania history, and The Rock almost got away with it not being on camera. These guys are such master craftsmen that simple things such as mounted punches makes the crowd go crazy. This is why WWE needs to let their product breathe a bit more. Many “big time” matches these days usually consist of one person hitting a move as the other stands there with a “OMG I can’t believe they hit that move!” look on their face (for an example of this, see Sting vs. Triple H from WrestleMania 31). Here both men work a normal pace, but they exaggerate every move so that it feels like a move that is championship caliber. Just look at the way The Rock flies through the air when taking a simple hip toss and the way Austin flops around when hitting the exposed turnbuckle. When people mention how selling is important to wrestling, this is an essential match that shows why. The only other people I can think of that goes to such lengths to make their opponent look like a million dollars these days is AJ Styles and Sami Zayn.

Steve Austin, perhaps to show Rocky how a real Texas SOB blades, soon has his entire head turn red under the crimson mask. Both men get a turn to grimace under sharpshooters and look like maniacs as they scream and writhe in pain. There are no finishing moves done in the first few minutes, so once we actually get one it actually means something – and in a twist it’s Rocky hitting the Stunner on Austin! It’s one of my favorite moments of the match that for some reason never really gets mentioned.

Fresh off getting beat up by his son and formerly comatose wife (did that come up during Linda McMahon’s congressional confirmation hearing?), Vinny Mac is here to creep on the match. The crowd has gone from booing The Rock to cheering his People’s Elbow, but Vince breaks it all up. Heyman has been hinting that Stone Cold may be up to something dastardly all night, and this is clue number two to what’s going to happen next. Vince hits Rocky with a chair while Austin holds him up. Honestly, I think they could have done the turn better. For example, have the turn come at the very end with a sudden Austin heel turn rather than having him cheat (in a No-DQ match by the way) and selling out to his boss and mortal enemy. The Rock sells a stunner as only he can (acting 101 ladies and germs), but when it does not get the three count Austin just goes berzerk and beats him with a chair until he wins. What should be the biggest betrayal in wrestling history falls slightly flat when the crowd still cheers.

This is like watching Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, and Judas Priest touring in 1978 with Motörhead as the opening act. This is undefeated 1972 Dolphins vs. undefeated 2007 Patriots in the Super Bowl. This is a blockbuster movie with Humphrey Bogart, Clint Eastwood, Denzel Washington, and Meryl Streep as the main cast. Nothing else comes close to wrestling fans as the holy grail of an event, and this match solidified the evening as one of the greatest. From here we transitioned to The Invasion and the gradual decline in wrestling’s importance, but the match between Stone Cold and The Rock will be the lasting image of the sport for decades to come. The Rock’s career has soared since leaving WWE full time, and Austin has enjoyed plenty of his own success after retiring two years after this (in poetic justice, his last match would also be against The People’s Champion at WrestleMania XIX). Neither man truly passed the baton to a successor who could match them, but their gift to modern WWE wrestlers is a standard that they should all strive for. With the talent WWE has in their wheelhouse I can see a revival eventually happening, and when it does happen I see this match being the one people pointing to as the bar. It replaced Steamboat/Savage at WrestleMania 3 as the showcase match example, and for good reason. For ending an era the right way and giving causal fans, smart fans, and wrestlers themselves a masterpiece on ‘Mania main events this match is my number three pick for WrestleMania moments.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania Moments: #4 – The End of an Era (Almost)

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: The Undertaker vs. Triple H – Hell in a Cell (Special Guest Referee Shawn Michaels), WrestleMania XXVIII

WrestleMania 28 was the very first wrestling event I ever watched. The Bonesaw’s very own Chris Butera knew of a showing that was happening on campus at SUNY Oswego and told me to show up. I had zero context for what was happening, and I picked my favorites based on appearance and who had better entrance music. Sure, I knew who The Rock was and he’d be appearing, but beyond that I was going in blind. Most of the event was fairly unmemorable, and I honestly get this PPV confused with WrestleMania 27 frequently. However, one match stuck with me that I can still recall: Triple H vs The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell match with Shawn Michaels as the special guest referee.

What I remember from watching this match live was several random details. The Hell in a Cell structure looks like something from a video game, there was licensed music during the entrances, which in today’s WWE is nearly impossible to get the company to spring for, and yet I remember thinking “The guy with the Motörhead theme song is cool, but this other guy got Johnny Cash so I’m not sure who to root for.” Hell, even the cell got a Metallica theme song!

Imagine how much more legitimate WWE Superstars would look if the company got a couple of popular bands to make up themes for them? Call up Snoop and have him make a theme for his cousin Sasha Banks, or get metalcore bands from Warped Tour to give Kevin Owens, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins proper music instead of the generic dribble they get. Just a thought, but it would probably make all the difference in how the WWE Superstars are presented.

This was head and shoulders the best match on the card, even as somebody with no clue about the story behind it. Re-watching it now as a smarmy internet fan, it’s gotten better with age. Easily one of Undertaker’s and Triple H’s  best ‘Mania matches, there is so much drama in the build and during the match itself it almost feels like a theater production rather than a wrestling match.

To start we get Jim Ross coming out to announce this match, because we cannot have Booker T ruining this moment (side note: RIP Jan Ross). This match is billed as the End of an Era, which has been diminished slightly due to the  fact that neither man has retired nearly five years after this match. Shawn Michaels is then out in his referee shirt and actual pants, which is oddly disconcerting. I am so used to HBK dressing like a stripper who bought his sexy outfit at Dick’s Sporting Goods that seeing him in professional attire is strange. His best buddy Triple H is out next, being barfed out of a weird warrior’s mouth. Triple H has his scary dad bode out, but I wish he cut his hair short much earlier, as he looks older here than he does now. Undertaker has a pretty plain entrance that just has a bunch of pyro shooting out behind him. JR claims they are 50 feet tall, but that seems a little suspect, unless the man in front of them is a whopping 30 feet, which would mean the cell is at least 150 feet high and 75 feet wide (spoiler: they aren’t).

The announcers do a good job of highlighting the story of the match: Triple H lost last year, but he walked out and Taker did not, so here we are with the rematch. Triple H, being the bastard boss, makes his buddy and fellow streak victim Michaels the ref to ensure, in his mind, that he will be the one to give Undertaker his first loss at WrestleMania. Undertaker has short hair, a stubble goatee, and eyeliner on, making him look like an old crossdressing goth that just took off his wig.

The match starts and both men just start slugging it out, and Jim Ross calls Triple H’s punches “carcinogenic,” which is perhaps not the best word to use. The Hell in a Cell cage is closer to the ring here, but that leads to a bunch of cool shaky cam style close ups of the action as the cameraman tries to dodge the two behemoths. ‘Taker shoves Michaels out of his way, and we get the first sign that perhaps HBK might pull something shady out of his playbook for his friend later. I couldn’t understand it back then, but the spectre of Triple H, COO and glory hog looms large here. If anyone was going to end the streak, it was going to be the one who runs the place in real life (who’s been known to use his pull to get what he wants). Going into WrestleMania 30 I distinctly thought that since Hunter didn’t end the streak, nobody ever will (Oops…).

Undertaker moves at a pace that can generously be called glacial, but unlike more recent years he moves well when doing moves and throwing strikes. The match mostly takes place outside the ring, but things pick up soon. We get a cool back body drop off the steps, followed by Triple H giving Taker a sickening spinebuster on the steps. ‘Taker tries to counter with the Hell’s Gate, but Triple H hoofs up the massive man and slams him down. Everything here is downright painful looking, and that’s before Triple H just goes on the warpath and beats Undertaker with a chair for what seems like five minutes. Triple H wrestles like someone trying to win a match in a WWE video game, and it just adds to the high drama on display.

HBK starts panicking, and he begs his buddy to end it by covering The Undertaker. HBK does some great acting here as he’s torn between his friend and the man he respects for retiring him. Shawn literally pleads with ‘Taker to stay down, but The Dead Man speaks and simply says “do not stop.” We need more matches like this, and seeing Triple H bleeding from the head yelling that he will end Undertaker and almost squash his opponent’s head like a watermelon with the hammer is an arresting visual. I still jump when it happens, even though three seconds later I realize there is no way Triple H is going to murder someone on live television.

The amazing moments just keep happening. HBK gets put in the Hell’s Gate to prevent him from stopping the match, but Triple H uses the sledgehammer again when he is down. The Undertaker pays for his hubris when Triple H passes out, but Shawn is still knocked out from before. Finishers start flying as Undertaker hits R1 to Chokeslam Triple H and replacement ref Little Naitch, and when he tries to Tombstone Triple H HBK nails him with the Sweet Chin Music.

This is perhaps Shawn’s greatest piece of work in the world of wrestling. Everything comes together here so well it is re-watchable again and again. He nails the kick to Undertaker, who immediately gets hit with the Pedigree. Watching this five years later, I am convinced every time that the streak is done. The Pedigree is so well protected, and the combo between that and Shawn’s kick would take down an elephant under normal circumstances. HBK goes to count the pinfall, and when Undertaker kicks out Shawn completely breaks down. HBK let out the Shawn Michaels of old, the primadonna who held down and bullied people, and for just one second he let that bastard out to show ‘Taker that he is not someone to get pushed around. He then pulls a 180 and we return to Shawn Michaels the God fearing man, who huddles in the corner and cries knowing that his anger and pettiness almost destroyed one of the most hallowed institutions in WWE. He has changed so much since the days of his wild youth, but underneath the piousness he is just as dangerous and reckless as ever. ‘Taker brought that out before when they tussled at WrestleMania, and whatever leftover angst powered that kick after being disrespected repeatedly by Undertaker, the man he is only trying to look out for.

This is, in my mind, one of the best sixty seconds of wrestling I have ever seen, and one of the moments that drew me into the world of wrestling. The drama, the action, the crowd, the announcers, it all comes together in one perfect moment. I can watch this over and over again, constantly rewinding and hearing Michael Cole yell “Streak’s over! Streak’s over!” again and again and again.

But of course, this is not the end of the streak, and now Triple H is abusing his buddy for showing weakness. Big Daddy ‘Taker sits up and Hunter nearly pees his pants as he begins his rally. A Tombstone Piledriver is not enough to stop Triple H, but the real victim is Shawn. Repeatedly we see him crouched in the corner with tears running down his face as ‘Taker and Triple H slug it out despite being too tired to stand. This match is shortening both men’s lives physically, but HBK must take on the emotional toll for both men as he witnesses the two men he respects the most destroy each other like two massive stars caught in each other’s orbit. Finally, after an exhausting half an hour Undertaker proves he is tougher than The Game by beating him senseless as Shawn cannot even look at the carcass of his friend. Triple H manages to stand one last time and give a crotch chop, but it’s curtains for him. All three men truly have gone to hell and back, and they fittingly leave supporting each other up the ramp as the crowd gives them the standing ovation they deserve.

This match is half an hour long, but it both feels longer and shorter than this. It does not drag like many longer matches, but the journey you go on during this bout feels like the series finale of your favorite hour long drama. This is Undertaker’s best WrestleMania match, period; and most likely the best Triple H match at ‘Mania as well.

Usually when I try to get people to start watching wrestling, I either go for extreme violence (to show how tough and legitimate the wrestlers are), or pure comedy (to show how goofy wrestlers can be). This is the best match to show people how engrossing wrestling can be on an emotional level, and it takes three master craftsmen to show just how special an incredible wrestling match can be. Get a stadium full of crazy fans and plenty of atmosphere to boot and you have plenty of lasting images that sink their hooks into a potential fan’s brain, leading them down the path to becoming a lifelong mark. It worked on me, and I’m sure it worked on many other people as well.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 Wrestlemania Moments: #5 – Cash Me Outside

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: Seth Rollins Cashes in his Money in the Bank Briefcase, WrestleMania XXXI

Going into WrestleMania 31 doubt hung in the air. Roman Reigns had infamously won the Royal Rumble in such a way that even his cool cousin The Rock couldn’t shield him from the chorus of boos. At the same time WWE Champion Brock Lesnar’s contract was running down, and the WWE Universe was in full-blown panic mode. Nobody besides women, children, and Vince McMahon seemed to like Reigns, but the company felt it was forced to give The Big Dog the push due to Brock potentially leaving. Rumors swirled around the main event, and it appeared nobody knew what the hell was going to happen when the event actually took place on March 29th, 2015.

In retrospect, everything appeared much more dire than it actually ended up being. Sure the Royal Rumble match itself was a colossal failure, but Lesnar was coming off the best match of his most recent run (a triple threat between himself, John Cena, and Seth Rollins) that firmly established that, while Lesnar may not show up all that frequently, when he was wrestling it was always a spectacle and could also be legitimately stellar. Brock also helped calm the nerves of fans everywhere when he appeared on ESPN days before the event and announced he was officially retiring from the UFC (lol!) and had re-signed with the WWE. Fans could breathe, but would Vinny Mac punish the Beast for leaving him dangling? Would WWE really put the belt on the undercooked Reigns despite the amount of backlash he had received mere weeks into his main event push?

This atmosphere made ‘Mania 31 one of the most exciting versions of the event that I had the pleasure to watch live. Granted, the only ones I have seen live were 28 and then 30 on forward, but this one was the one I was the most invested in emotionally, and I was curious if WWE would be able to pull it off or if it would turn into a dumpster fire.

Thankfully the WWE pulled it off. This is easily the most re-watchable ‘Mania of the WWE Network Era, and there is very little fat to trim here. The highlight of the evening was big Brock Lesnar getting his hands on Roman Reigns.

To clarify my stance on Reigns: I’ll admit he is a good wrestler. Sometimes he can be great in the ring, but the man is a black hole of charisma and I cannot imagine buying a watch from the guy from a mall kiosk, let alone wanting to buy a PPV he’s headlining. WWE has done the man no favors in helping him get over, so while the video package played my buddies and I grabbed some beers and got ready for Reigns to Superman Punch our hopes and dreams away. Despite everything that can go wrong, WWE makes my number five WrestleMania moment here, and Lesnar vs. Reigns delivers so much on every level. From the atmosphere to the video package and entrances to the match itself and its epic ending, this is modern WWE storytelling done right.

The video package tries so hard to make Roman seem legit. Hilariously they chose to not feature any audio involving the fans, as this supposedly triumphant montage would sound quite different with two straight minutes of boos behind it. Meanwhile, Brock looks like a killer. Reigns is just trying to get you not to boo him, while Brock is here to suplex people so hard there souls leave their bodies. Of course, Paul Heyman slays Reigns with the immortal line, “When you lose, how will you handle disappointing your family?” Grab the shovel, this package just makes me love Lesnar and Heyman all the more.

Reigns enters first and the crowd is…curiously silent – almost as if WWE has gone back and turned down the crowd audio (here’s looking at you, Kevin Dunn). The Big Dog is seen shoving away fans as he enters from the crowd. We all get the infamous “We listen to our fans LOL” and “Roman is a Wank Pheasant” signs that belong in the WWE Hall of Fame. Even Reigns’ pyro is really lame as he initially gets giant roman candles going off around the stadium for him (Roman Reigns…Roman candles? I just got it!). Anyway, Brock gets the hero’s welcome from the tens of thousands of fans who traveled hundreds or thousands of miles and paid thousands of dollars to watch a man I believe can deadlift several cows beat up a guy who looks like someone who tries to flirt with your wife on your honeymoon. Lesnar’s pyro seems to blow up much of the stadium and we are off to the races.

This match really breaks out from a decent WrestleMania moment to something truly memorable. Brock dismantled everyone he came across, including Reigns predecessor John Cena. Would WWE try to play this off like Reigns is equal to Lesnar, and how much would the crowd rebel against this? Will WWE have Brock just steamroll Roman in the squash matches we’d come to expect? I waited on baited breath with my friends as we prayed to the Wrestling Gods that a miracle would happen and we would not get a stinker in the main event.

Then it happens. One minute in and Brock Lesnar hits an F-5 and you can hear the tension in the stadium and across the WWE Universe melt away. I have never seen or experienced such an electric feeling from a live WWE PPV. As much as I loved Daniel Bryan winning the title at the previous ‘Mania, we all knew it was going to happen. This was as shocking and violent as a shark attack, and in that moment my suspension of disbelief was in full force. I truly believed that Brock Lesnar was that unbeatable, and the pretender Reigns was going to be carted off the field at Levi’s Stadium and we would never have to deal with him in the main event of any PPV again (sigh…).

What really sells this opening minute is Brock’s acting. Lesnar will never be known for promos, but when he needs to he is great at conveying emotions non-verbally. He realizes that Reigns had opened up his cheekbone, so instead of getting the pin like JBL is screaming at him to do he decides to punish Roman. The Beast is bleeding, and The Beast is mad. He will use the WrestleMania Main Event to punish those who defy him and send a message that nobody on God’s Green Earth dares to try to humanize him. Reigns attempts to fire back and Brock tosses him around like a German Shepard who is tired of the new kitten clawing at it’s face.

Here we see things truly shift into Lesnar’s corner, both in ring and in the eyes of fans. While Roman was at a mild level of annoyance before, here he makes the curious decision to try and hulk up by either doing a classic “seizure of strength” gesture or laughing after being hit. Whoever told him to try and laugh off hits from a former UFC champion deserves to be fired on the spot. It makes him completely insufferable during this match and draws the bloodlust of Lesnar out even more, and the crowd, God bless them, are right there seeing red with him.

The match devolves into a brutal beating, as Lesnar hits Reigns with several legitimately brutal punches and suplexes. He utters the most famous line of his career as he indeed sends Reigns to “Suplex City, Bitch.” While many WrestleMania matches (especially main events) try to go for that methodical, epic beat fight feel, this match is all one giant beatdown cut with shots of Paul Heyman smiling like the zealot he is. Every time Reigns tries anything Brock just does it bigger, better, and more devastating than Roman could ever do. Even a slap from Lesnar looks like it registers on the Richter Scale.

At this point the crowd is riding high, and despite some small rallies from Roman is met with a resounding piece of thunder from the champ, but then, suddenly, things turn. Lesnar goes into a ring post and starts gushing blood from his fourth head wound of the match. The crowd, previously punch drunk, starts booing in earnest protest of what looks to be happening. I was apocalyptic as soon as I saw Lesnar truly bleeding, as I thought in my heart of hearts that this was when The Roman Empire was going to begin. Reigns hits his two moves of doom repeatedly as I worry commentator Michael Cole is going to need a new pair of pants. Sadly, despite Brock’s epic ass kicking, all our worst fears are coming true, and Roman truly is the future of the WWE. It does not matter how much we rally behind our Daniel Bryan’s, the most vocal of fans (and, if I give my own two cents, the most important given that they refuse to abandon WWE while demographics and sponsors come and go) must concede that Vince is going to get his way. We will have a Ken doll as champ, and if we’re lucky we get to see Brock Lesnar throw people around and see our internet darlings put on some good matches beforehand.

This dreary mindset lasted a whole three or four minutes. Heyman is pleading with Brock to stay down, or put up his hands, or do anything to prevent this doomsday scenario (I’m right there with you, Paul). Thankfully, it’s Christmas Day, and on this day our lord and savior Crossfit Jesus was born. Seth Freaking Rollin’s music hits and upon the first notes hitting my WWE Network crashes and my entire party panics like a Xenomorph just burst through the wall. Thankfully, we got it back just in time to see Rollins become the first WWE Superstar to not only cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase at WrestleMania but win the title and make this a legitimately legendary main event as well. The crowd was invested from the beginning to end, and WWE decided to be bolder than they ever have been before by having the unproven Rollins sneak into the last five minutes of the show and win it all.

We do not get the chorus of boos, we do not get the predictable outcome, we get something that actively makes fans happy and want to tune it the next night on Raw. That is sorely lacking in today’s WWE, and it just goes to show why this match is so critical and important. Looking ahead to the current ‘Mania main event of Goldberg vs. Lesnar, we potentially have three of the last four Mania’s end in the most predictable fashion. WrestleMania 30 tried to do this with the streak ending and D-Bry’s epic win, but that has been tarnished by Taker’s subpar post-event wrestling output and Bryan’s early retirement.

This now stands out much more to me as a wild and unpredictable WrestleMania main event that, more than any other modern ‘Mania, convinced people to stick around and invest in the product (and the Network). For playing into and subverting fan expectations repeatedly over the course of an exhausting twenty minutes and giving every spectrum of fans a reason to be excited and invested in the WWE going forward, WrestleMania 31’s main event of Lesnar vs. Reigns (vs. Rollins) is number five on my list.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania Moments: #6 – Hail to the Chief

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: The Battle of the Billionaires, WrestleMania XXIII  

This moment may be controversial due to the current real life situations surrounding it, but it is still one of the more interesting ones in the company’s history.

Although there are plenty of ‘Mania moments that involve much more talented wrestlers and personalities along with moments that add more to the world of wrestling, this moment is on my top 10 list because there is nothing in wrestling period that can compare to something like this. That is the Battle of the Billionaires featuring the current President of the United States and WWE Hall of Famer Donald J. Trump.

Now Trump is an incredibly polarizing figure, and his very mention may incite plenty of negativity, but this is a column about WrestleMania moments and not a political forum.  That said, it is now impossible to see the match between Umaga and Bobby Lashley and not find it surreal. What we have is one of the most powerful men on the planet shaving Vince McMahon’s (not exactly an insignificant businessman today as well as back in 2007) head. This is the President of the United States of America, and he is part of one of the marquee matches on the biggest wrestling event of the year. No other President has ever been involved in a sport or form of entertainment to this degree, with the possible exception of Teddy Roosevelt getting involved with football’s early outlaw history.

The match itself is pretty average, and just taken as Lashley vs. Umaga this feels like a main event of Raw instead of the third to last match at a WrestleMania, but Vinny Mac and D-Trump are having a bit of an issue, and these monstrous men are fighting for their honor like the billionaires are their maidens fair. In hindsight, it is slightly uncomfortable that these two old rich white men have two minorities fighting each other for their amusement, especially with Trump’s checkered history when it comes to race relations. What is at stake is not a title, or even simple bragging rights for that matter. The outcome of this wager is that whoever’s champion takes the pin must shave their head, and it is no surprise that Vince took the impromptu haircut here. To add to the proceedings, Stone Cold Steve Austin is here to collect a paycheck as a special guest referee in a role he goes back to every few years.

Nothing too special in the ring stands out, as Trump overshadows every single big move during the match. In 2017 every glance by the camera at the future President causes me to study the screen. I feel like I’m dreaming when I see the man with the nuclear codes throw possibly the worst punch in wrestling history. Then Stone Cold Steve Austin earns a spot on the no-fly list by giving the Stunner to a man with a fleet of Secret Service agents current protecting him and his family. All these moments are amazing in retrospect, and it is hard to compare something like the Undertaker’s WrestleMania win streak ending to something like this. What if Ronald Reagan actually played football instead of being in a movie about it? What if Grover Cleveland was on the New York Yankees before entering politics? I cannot wrap my head around any of that, but I have video evidence of the leader of the free world hanging out by a wrestling ring and being part of a Hair vs. Hair match.

Donald Trump will leave behind a complicated legacy when he passes, but for one night in Detroit he was the good guy fighting against the elitist billionaire. Much in the alleged fashion of his electoral campaign, he was standing up for the common man, using his resources to stand up against someone who usually is unchallenged in power. Trump gets the people behind him and promises to humiliate the people who have been in charge and unchecked for decades. In the end (via his champion Lashley) he managed to get a victory that he assured us he would get, despite his own hiccups performing on the big stage. We see his opponents humiliated and he eventually goes on to become the onscreen owner of the WWE. We should have seen his run at the Presidency coming, and seeing his ascent from WrestleMania 23 to kayfabe owner of the company and Hall of Famer mimics his rise in politics in such a way that is completely bonkers watching it now. For involving the President in a WrestleMania main event and giving WWE something they can brag about for the rest of the company’s history, the Battle of the Billionaires rolls in at number six on my list of WrestleMania moments.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!

 

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania Moments: #7 – Two Tough SOB’S

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle, WrestleMania XIX

One thing I love in wrestling is stakes. They can either be storyline related, meta as in management believing enough in a talent, and real life stakes as in a wrestler putting their health in jeopardy. This WrestleMania moment has all three.

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar may not be the first thing people think of as a top ‘Mania moment. Most people remember this match for the ending when Lesnar nearly ends up in a wheelchair or coffin after attempting a Shooting Star Press,  but there are plenty of elements that make this perhaps one of the best championship matches in all of WrestleMania history.

This match has two of the toughest beings in the history of the business on the biggest stage of the year. Angle is the olympic gold medalist who may be the best pure athlete in WWE, if not all of wrestling. When WrestleMania 19 rolled around in 2003 the man desperately needed neck surgery, but he was also the current WWE champion at the time. What do you do if your top guy could potentially injure his neck and suffer long term health problems? If your answer was having him fight a monstrous behemoth who throws humans around the same way I make cats dance for my amusement, I owe you a coke. Lesnar was in peak condition, and considering his only other ‘Mania match of his original run was the disaster with Goldberg it really was his only big moment at the Show of Shows.

It may seem insane that this went on after Stone Cold Steve Austin’s retirement match, but at the same time it’s the title match and this was when the title meant a hell of a lot more than it does now. The video package shows Lesnar tearing people apart with triumphant music in the background. An honorable mention goes to the amazing switcheroo of Kurt trading places with his brother Eric during a SmackDown title match when everyone thought WWE would take the title off the Olympic Hero so he could undergo neck sugery. This swerve is one of the most amazing single episode storylines in SmackDown history.

The match begins and Brock looks like every bit the monster he is. It takes a lot to make an Olympian looks like some dude off the street. Tazz also gets a special mention here, as he must have used all his announcer mojo during these 20 minutes because he is on fire during this whole encounter. Afterward, his commentary became somewhat of a Botchamania joke, but here he adds a degree of technical knowledge that is sorely missing from today’s WWE.

Both men go back and forth, with Angle trying to act like a heel despite the fact that insider fans know that he is dealing with massive health issues and regular fans recognize that Brock is a sentient piece of cyborg steak. Lesnar manages to sneak behind Angle faster than Sloth from Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Just when you think Angle is going to get murdered he suplexes Lesnar over his head and the bigger man flies across the ring. Part of the appeal of this match is that even though Kurt would go into experimental neck surgery soon after this event he can still go toe to toe with a man that once threw a car door dozens of feet and hit a fan from the Raw stage.

The other big appeal of the match itself is wincing and praying that Brock does not literally paralyze or murder Kurt Angle. Every suplex, every gorilla press slam, every time Kurt leaves his feet I get nervous, even though I know he ends up no worse for wear. The middle portion of this match sees Kurt working a MMA style with plenty of holds to wear down the Beast, and while it may not be the most exciting style it makes sense from a story perspective that we again see very little of today. Many times WWE wrestlers will work a limb without any logic behind it, or as a way for heels to build heat before they inevitably get taken down by the good guys. Seeing two men with an understanding of technical wrestling go at it adds so much more suspension of disbelief even without the real life injuries at play.

Things begin picking up as the two start hitting finishers and Angle Locks. Angle hits suplex after suplex, which Brock sells like a boss and Kurt pretends landing on his back and neck is a good idea. It is impossible to think of 2017 Lesnar selling these moves like he is in 2003, and then we finally get it. The Shooting Star Press of horror. I will never understand what Brock’s thought process were in this moment. Angle is three-quarters of the way across the ring, and Brock had plenty of time to move him closer. Instead, he takes a horrifying bump and the man with a broken neck must guide the concussed dinosaur into the end of the match. There is no way in hell I would trust Lesnar to give me an F-5 when he looks like he is so far out of it he’s staring into the center of the universe but that’s exactly what happened; and an expressionless Brock is awarded the WWE Championship to go with his sad cow eyes.

While most of this match has a real big fight feel, these final minutes really sum up the appeal to this match and are why it’s number seven on my list. These two put on a stupendous match despite so many factors going against them, and with all that real life danger this feels riskier than any hardcore match. Both men would have all sorts of ups and downs for the rest of their careers, but now that Kurt Angle is going into the Hall of Fame I desperately hope we get to see them shake hands once again and that more people rediscover this gem of a match.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top Ten Wrestlemania Moments: #9 – Ric Flair’s Curtain Call

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: Shawn Michaels Retires Ric Flair, WrestleMania XXIV

Ric Flair is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. Flair is most likely the best heel in the history of the business, and has the distinct honor of being the only man besides my grandfather that my grandmother ever swore at. His promos throughout his career are some of the most iconic, and despite not being a technical powerhouse, he was able to put so much emotion into his matches that they are some of the easiest to re-watch for newer wrestling fans. While many of contemporaries wrestled a style that could generously be described as watching two behemoths angrily hug in slow motion, Flair was a cartoon character who flew around the ring and begged for his life every night for decades.

In 2008, Flair was in better shape than most men in their 50’s, but he still looked like a hot dog with a thumbnail stuck on the top. It was time for him to hang up the boots, but this was Ric Flair. He still had enough magic to pull out one big match, and why not go out at WrestleMania against another guy who is arguably one of the greats in Shawn Michaels? The video package before this match makes it abundantly clear who’s walking out with the win, which is why despite all the emotion this is at number nine. Everyone knew this was the last dance for the Nature Boy, so the big question was “how good of a match was Naitch capable of having?”

The video package shows Michaels announcing Flair going into the WWE Hall of Fame and a montage of Flair moments, which is kind of weird that they act like he is a beloved figure when much of the package shows him low blowing people, making out with multiple women, and bleeding everywhere. Flair ends up calling out HBK, who has reservations, but almost immediately changes his tune and tells Flair he is going to shoot him behind a woodshed like Old Yeller (Is this how normal friends talk to each other?). Considering HBK will declare his love for his buddy towards the end of the evening, it makes for an awkward package if it’s not the first time you’re watching it.

Despite threatening to euthanize an old man, Michaels gets cheered when he makes his entrance. When Flair enters the crowd gives him the ovation he deserves, and we get a pretty heartbreaking scene of his children. The first crazy meta moment of the match sees the future Women’s Champion Charlotte alongside her late brother Reid. Charlotte has said this night was part of the genesis of her wrestling career, and seeing the late brother who gave her the final push to become a wrestler before his untimely passing adds a weird mix of morbidness and hope to the entrance of their father.

While this is the biggest OMG moment of the early portion of this match there are several subtle ones that make this stand out even further. Charles Robinson (a.k.a. Lil’ Naitch) is appropriately the referee, and he pulls the middle rope down as a sign of respect for his idol. A massive amount of O’s circle the ring as chains of fans make “Woo” signs that stretch across entire sections of the stadium. Flair even manages to look regal in his robe before he reverts to his tights and terrifying “grandpa at a pool” look. Flair hasn’t shown more life in the ring since WCW closed its doors. He starts off by doing some impressive chain wrestling, but Michaels slaps him so hard he starts bleeding from the mouth in a sign of what’s to come.

This beginning of the match does not truly heat up until the second big moment when Shawn takes the sickening moonsault bump onto the side of the table. The table does not collapse, and it looks as though Michaels has broken several ribs five minutes into the match. If you want a moment to show non-wrestling fans of how painful wrestling can be (without resorting to hardcore wrestling), this is the bump to show them. Most critically to the drama of this match, this particular spot makes it seem like Flair may just get lucky and hold off retirement for just a little longer.

Once it’s clear HBK is not going to cough up blood, the match admittedly gets slightly boring. Flair’s offense looks as tired as he does, and besides the signature chops nothing screams that he’s walking away with his arm raised. Despite commentators Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler doing their best to make it sound incredible, Space Mountain looks every bit the Old Yeller Michaels called him. The match eventually boils down to a Ric Flair highlight package, but this is not necessarily bad. Sometimes wrestling is great because things work out the way we want, and I think fans would rather have had Flair go out in a stadium full of people rather than say, bleeding everywhere in a TV studio in Orlando for a paycheck (cough, TNA, cough).

Finally, we get to the third and most poignant moment of the match. In the end Flair really does have it in him to compete with another legendary wrestler, and defeat is written all over his face. Michaels, having diverted from his slightly heelish persona earlier in the match, says the immortal words that will follow both men for eternity.

“I’m sorry. I Love You.”

No real sport has moments like this. The nature of competition means we don’t get two athletes from different eras facing off and allowing this kind of respect. That’s why this match is in such a high regard for many. While seeing Flair’s family is both tragic yet inspiring, and HBK’s horrifying table bump gives you that suspension of disbelief, this real moment between two men who respect the hell out of each other is something you just cannot fake, even in the world of wrestling. We may get players and coaches shaking hands and hugging, but we don’t get Tom Brady apologizing to opponents as he wins a SuperBowl and ends their careers. Flair ends up taking three Sweet Chin Musics like he’s Brock Lesnar, but in the end he goes out better than anyone could have expected. On this historic day, these two men took something incredibly predictable and yet made it both unexpected and timeless.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!