Tag Archives: politics

Iron Sheik Declares 2020 Bid

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Come 2020, the Iron Sheik will be looking to make America humble again.

The WWE Hall of Famer shocked the world Wednesday when he announced via Twitter that he too will be joining his fellow sports entertainer turned megastar Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the next Presidential election.

“FUCK THE PRESIDENT TRUMP!” he tweeted. “BEFORE HE NICE GUY! NOW HE BIG DOUCHEBAG! I MAKE HIM HUMBLE!!! #SHEIK2020.”

To guarantee the internet’s implosion, Rocky responded to the Sheik’s promise.

“Much love/congrats 2 @the_ironsheik! Looking forward 2 tagging w/ #Sheikybaby in the #2020Election!”

When asked which party he would run with, Sheik has decided to go Independent, not just because he loves indy fans, but also because yellow is his favorite color. “It remind me of home and WWF World Heavyweight Championship belt,” he told The Bonesaw.

Shiek has also decided to make his party’s mascot a camel because of his intense pride for his Iranian culture (it’s also his favorite animal). “IRON SHEIK: NUMBER ONE! CAMEL: NUMBER ONE! ELEPHANT AND DONKEY? HUACK, PTOO” he yelled in delight. “ONLY THE ROCK THE REAL! ALL OTHER CANDIDATE JABRONI! FUCK THE KANYE, TOO!”

Other than serving the Shah of Iran in his youth, the Sheik has no political experience – possibly even less than President Trump. With that said, he knows exactly how he’s going to win the 2020 Presidency.

“I SUPLEX THEM, I PUT THEM IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH, I BREAK ALL THEIR FUCKING BACKS! I MAKE THEM HUMBLE!”

When asked if this is actually some kind of elaborate hoax in order to gain traction, the Sheik responded by suplexing our reporter and putting them in the Camel Clutch. Our reporter is now in critical condition at Mt. Kayfabe Memorial Hospital with a broken back and has since been terminated for upsetting a WWE legend and future Presidential candidate.

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DNC Unable to Watch ‘Mania, Blames Russia

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The DNC was rather upset Sunday evening, but not for the reasons you may think.

The entire committee gathered at the Clinton estate to watch WrestleMania 33, but things went awry after the one hour WWE Kickoff special on the USA Network aired.

“Due to large amounts of delays, we were unable to watch WrestleMania,” said Hillary Clinton, an avid John Cena fan. “We believe the Russians hacked into our Xbox One console, sabotaging The Ultimate Thrill Ride for the Democratic Party.”

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin could not be reached for comment, but sources say he was very upset Rusev was unable to compete due to his shoulder injury and hopes he receives a proper main event push upon return.

“This is preposterous,” said Senator Bernie Sanders, who had no issues watching the event on his 80-inch Smart TV from his Vermont home. “Everyone knows the WWE Network lags on the Xbox One, plus when you account for the amount of new subscribers and people watching this event, it’s very clear that Russia has nothing to do with this.”

Over in the White House, the Trump Administration thoroughly enjoyed The Show of Shows on their Playstation 4. However, Vice-President Mike Pence was reportedly unable to watch any matches involving women as his wife Karen was out running errands all day.

“Mother and I love Bayley,” said the Vice-President.

It was also reported that President Trump and his wife Melania were having marital issues over the main event as Melania is a huge fan of Roman Reigns – a Superstar her husband despises.

“He’s hot and has muscles,” said the First Lady before calming down her son Baron, who was upset his favorite Superstar Baron Corbin did not win the Intercontinental Championship from Dean Ambrose.

President Trump could not be reached for comment, but we were told by Secret Service Agents that he thought “very bigly” of this year’s event and popped huge for the returning Hardy’s.

Then. Now. Hoax.

IWD Strike a Political Tool for Leftist Organizers?

Woman’s March on Washington D.C.

by Connor J. Frontera

Today is International Women’s Day, but instead of celebrating the achievements of women in America and around the world, many will use it to express themselves another way, participating in protest against the “injustices” that women face every day in the workplace, at home, and in society known as the “A Day Without a Woman” strike.

The marches set for today, similar to the marches against President Trump on January 21st, will be made up of not only people protesting the rights denied to women, but also rights denied to the members of the LBGTQ community, people with disabilities, and immigrants, a direct retaliation to the executive order signed by President Trump on Monday.

Although the march has a clear-cut mission, it lacks a strong base to the movement. Planned Parenthood, the top sponsor for the march, rigorously fights for women’s rights every day, but people who support this fail to realize that Planned Parenthood is also responsible for more than 300,000 abortions every year, according to liveaction.org. Considering many of these unborn children were potentially female, fighting for women’s rights suddenly becomes problematic when it’s realized that the top sponsor denies a fundamental right guaranteed by the Constitution: life.

Moreover, including members of groups that do not share that mission (groups fighting The Dakota Access Pipeline for example) clearly shows that the movement is not actually about women’s rights, but rather used as encouragement for other progressive agendas such as immigration and environmental policies. The Natural Resources Defense Council, the only platinum sponsor of the movement, just behind Planned Parenthood, is an organization aimed at fighting climate change, which has absolutely nothing to do with women’s rights.

Even the debated relevant topics being protested for by this movement are problematic. The common workplace discrimination arguments, brought up consistently by women’s rights organizations, too, lack a strong base on multiple fronts.

On the equal pay front, which lacks decisive evidence in general, paying women the same as men disintegrates the meaning of capitalism, a system that once made this country arguably the strongest in the world. Paying the same wage to people occupying the same job throws a wrench in the wheel of competition, lowering the standards of an employer who might see something past the actual resume of a candidate. In addition, it creates a ceiling on bargaining power for positions, which might actually force employers to pay someone who is more equipped for the job less money, including women. While there is still no real evidence that supports the claim that women are paid less, the true meaning of the movement becomes shaky.

In defense of these ideologies, women are taking the day off from work, unpaid labor, and shopping. In circumstances where striking is not possible, they will wear red in solidarity.

Fighting for women’s rights once sent a powerful message to lawmakers and society, but that message has now become diluted as recent events have seen the cause embody a new meaning closely tied with leftist politics. It is no longer about the rights of women, but rather a vehicle to break down the current Trump administration, and force an equal, socialist-leaning agenda on society. Real women should not march, take the day off from work, or simply do (or not do) things to divide on this day, but rather celebrate the accomplishments that so many great women such as Sally Ride and Nellie Bly have made throughout history, aiming to further accomplish great things for the world.

CPAC 2017 Arms Young Conservatives With Intellectual Ammo

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President Trump takes time to bask in the moment mid-speech.

by Connor J. Frontera

The Conservative Political Action Conference, held In the Gaylord National Resort, National Harbor, Md. last week, attracted more than 10,000 conservatives (many of them college students) to share and gather knowledge about conservative values and contemplate the future of the United States of America. Speakers were invited from all over the globe, including Senator Ted Cruz, Judge Jeanine Pirro, and the even the President himself, Donald J. Trump.

The convention began last Wednesday and ran until the following Saturday afternoon. Each day, Speakers presented special seminars, talks, and panels to pass on their knowledge and experience to young and passionate conservatives to arm them with the proper arguments against their liberal opposition. These seminars included topics regarding very simple Constitutional rights, such as the meaning of the second and fourth amendments, as well as some very controversial topics which included sanctuary cities, illegal immigration, and radical Islamic terrorism.

President Trump, arrived Saturday morning via Marine One to address the convention. In the Gaylord National Resort ballroom, over five thousand patiently awaited his arrival, some students waking up at as early as 3 o’clock in the morning to get a front row seat. This was the first Presidential appearance at this convention since Ronald Reagan in the 1980’s.

In his speech, President Trump addressed all of the current issues that are facing the country today. He criticized the mainstream media for its “fake news,” exclaiming that the people of this great nation are no longer going to let the media report false stories. The President also addressed ISIS, stating that he will make sure they are “eradicated,” and that he will help build our military so strong that it will be completely unstoppable. In addition to these topics, the President covered immigration and the wall, helping businesses by cutting taxes, and that he indeed loves Campbell’s soup.

Minutes after his speech, a crowd joined outside to watch him head back to the White House on Marine One to get back to work and help deliver on the promises he has made as President.

 The overall convention was a success and most of its attendees went away happy and gracious from what they had learned. It supplied them with the intellectual ammunition for battle against their liberal opposition in future debates, cases, and biased college campus policies.

Bonesaw Podcast: Episode 47- Thirsty’s Chris Johnstone

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Fresh off the release of his album “Albatross,” it’s Chris Johnstone – keyboardist and bass player from dirty London blues rockers Thirsty. We talk politics, the music biz, the new record and more!

Donate to our Patreon at www.patreon.com/thebonesaw.