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Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania Moments: #7 – Two Tough SOB’S

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle, WrestleMania XIX

One thing I love in wrestling is stakes. They can either be storyline related, meta as in management believing enough in a talent, and real life stakes as in a wrestler putting their health in jeopardy. This WrestleMania moment has all three.

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar may not be the first thing people think of as a top ‘Mania moment. Most people remember this match for the ending when Lesnar nearly ends up in a wheelchair or coffin after attempting a Shooting Star Press,  but there are plenty of elements that make this perhaps one of the best championship matches in all of WrestleMania history.

This match has two of the toughest beings in the history of the business on the biggest stage of the year. Angle is the olympic gold medalist who may be the best pure athlete in WWE, if not all of wrestling. When WrestleMania 19 rolled around in 2003 the man desperately needed neck surgery, but he was also the current WWE champion at the time. What do you do if your top guy could potentially injure his neck and suffer long term health problems? If your answer was having him fight a monstrous behemoth who throws humans around the same way I make cats dance for my amusement, I owe you a coke. Lesnar was in peak condition, and considering his only other ‘Mania match of his original run was the disaster with Goldberg it really was his only big moment at the Show of Shows.

It may seem insane that this went on after Stone Cold Steve Austin’s retirement match, but at the same time it’s the title match and this was when the title meant a hell of a lot more than it does now. The video package shows Lesnar tearing people apart with triumphant music in the background. An honorable mention goes to the amazing switcheroo of Kurt trading places with his brother Eric during a SmackDown title match when everyone thought WWE would take the title off the Olympic Hero so he could undergo neck sugery. This swerve is one of the most amazing single episode storylines in SmackDown history.

The match begins and Brock looks like every bit the monster he is. It takes a lot to make an Olympian looks like some dude off the street. Tazz also gets a special mention here, as he must have used all his announcer mojo during these 20 minutes because he is on fire during this whole encounter. Afterward, his commentary became somewhat of a Botchamania joke, but here he adds a degree of technical knowledge that is sorely missing from today’s WWE.

Both men go back and forth, with Angle trying to act like a heel despite the fact that insider fans know that he is dealing with massive health issues and regular fans recognize that Brock is a sentient piece of cyborg steak. Lesnar manages to sneak behind Angle faster than Sloth from Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Just when you think Angle is going to get murdered he suplexes Lesnar over his head and the bigger man flies across the ring. Part of the appeal of this match is that even though Kurt would go into experimental neck surgery soon after this event he can still go toe to toe with a man that once threw a car door dozens of feet and hit a fan from the Raw stage.

The other big appeal of the match itself is wincing and praying that Brock does not literally paralyze or murder Kurt Angle. Every suplex, every gorilla press slam, every time Kurt leaves his feet I get nervous, even though I know he ends up no worse for wear. The middle portion of this match sees Kurt working a MMA style with plenty of holds to wear down the Beast, and while it may not be the most exciting style it makes sense from a story perspective that we again see very little of today. Many times WWE wrestlers will work a limb without any logic behind it, or as a way for heels to build heat before they inevitably get taken down by the good guys. Seeing two men with an understanding of technical wrestling go at it adds so much more suspension of disbelief even without the real life injuries at play.

Things begin picking up as the two start hitting finishers and Angle Locks. Angle hits suplex after suplex, which Brock sells like a boss and Kurt pretends landing on his back and neck is a good idea. It is impossible to think of 2017 Lesnar selling these moves like he is in 2003, and then we finally get it. The Shooting Star Press of horror. I will never understand what Brock’s thought process were in this moment. Angle is three-quarters of the way across the ring, and Brock had plenty of time to move him closer. Instead, he takes a horrifying bump and the man with a broken neck must guide the concussed dinosaur into the end of the match. There is no way in hell I would trust Lesnar to give me an F-5 when he looks like he is so far out of it he’s staring into the center of the universe but that’s exactly what happened; and an expressionless Brock is awarded the WWE Championship to go with his sad cow eyes.

While most of this match has a real big fight feel, these final minutes really sum up the appeal to this match and are why it’s number seven on my list. These two put on a stupendous match despite so many factors going against them, and with all that real life danger this feels riskier than any hardcore match. Both men would have all sorts of ups and downs for the rest of their careers, but now that Kurt Angle is going into the Hall of Fame I desperately hope we get to see them shake hands once again and that more people rediscover this gem of a match.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!

Podcast, Pro Wrestling

SSEP: Episode 10 – State of The NBA/MLB, This Week In WWE

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by Jonathan Schorr

This week Jon hits on the state of the NBA and the Ball issues, also speaks of the MLB and the world baseball classic and reviews this week in WWE. Our host also teases next weeks SSEP and gives us a big WrestleMania preview.

Donate to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/thebonesaw.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania Moments: #8 – Foley Earns His Moment

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: Edge Spears Mick Foley through a Flaming Table, WrestleMania XXII

Mick Foley in all his various forms is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time. Comparing his work to many greats before and during his peak reveals just how committed he was and how much he suffered for the craft. In the Spaceman’s mind, WWE and much of wrestling is pretty boring to watch until Mankind started throwing himself around violently and adding character depth that just was not in wrestling beforehand. Despite the cardinal sin of looking like a normal person, he managed to reach dizzying heights in the hottest period in WWE history. When he retired from full-time wrestling, Foley left a mark on the industry that few, if any can compete with.

Fast forward to 2006 and Foley was looking for something to cap off his stellar career that had not been completely put in the books (think of it as when older quarterbacks in the NFL get desperate to win the Super Bowl in an attempt to ensure their spot in the Hall of Fame). Thus, Foley was looking for one WrestleMania moment to put him over the edge in terms of being one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. While these days watching him move about can be a depressing sight, this was before the various ailments he has suffered from really caught up to him. It also helps that Foley had a fairly good reputation as somebody who could put over new, emerging talent.

Enter Edge.

Edge is one of those performers who tends to divide people. Depending on who you ask, he is either one of the most overrated wrestlers of all time (detractors claim he won far too numerous world championships in a bad time for the industry) or one of the most underrated (supporters suggest he earned his stripes and was one of the most consistent performers they had for a very long time). I tend to lean towards the latter, but during this time Edge was a wrestler in flux. He was the first person to use the Money in the Bank briefcase to win a world title, but lost it in three weeks. He and Lita sill earned massive heat from the fans for the infamous love triangle with Matt Hardy, but Edge needed to be more than the guy with the fluky title win and the harlot with outfits that would not fly today. Edge needed a big showing at WrestleMania, and this was a match made in heaven.

This being Foley, St. Mick couldn’t just have a regular five star match at the Show of Shows. Instead, he was going to earn it his way with plenty of blood and guts. Foley has said that his hardcore match with Randy Orton is his favorite of all time, and this follows the same story. Despite the Live Sex Celebration getting record ratings, Edge was peeved that Foley was the special referee during his rematch for the championship, so here we are. It’s not the best story, but it works. The video package shows Edge calling Foley a muppet and bashing his head in with chairs, while Mick…cuts himself open, beats up a women, and look like a muppet. Joey Styles joins the commentary booth for this match, because something something ECW! ECW!

The reasoning for this match may be flimsy on the kayfabe side and this match is low stakes in the grand scheme of things, but the meta story of Mick going for his ‘Mania moment and Edge trying to gain traction more than makes up for it. The match itself puts this feud over the top, as we see some spectacular violence that simply will not be seen again anytime soon in WWE. The only thing I would change during the match is the commentary, as Styles makes some uncomfortable references to concussions and there is a general slut shaming vibe from all the commentators.

Once the match starts things get intense quick. One of the images I mentioned earlier that we will never see again is Foley actually jogging, and he is pretty light on his feet despite looking somehow older than he does now in 2017. Some warm up spots (a.k.a. cooking sheets and road signs) leads to the first big spot that is etched in my mind. Edge goes full Goldberg and hits a spear three minutes in, but rolls away in pain as Foley reveals the barbed wire wrapped around him. Edge legitimately squirms around the ring bleeding from the arm as Foley goes from muppet to deranged.

If you think Foley was going to let the younger wrestler take all the punishment you’d be wrong. Foley takes a hip toss into the stairs followed by colliding with them at full speed right at the knee in spots that are much more brutal than the previous hits with road signs. These little bumps are made much worse knowing Foley’s knees and hip were the downfall for him ever being able to move like a healthy human again and really make you appreciate how much Foley gave to wrestling. Almost every move of this match looks like it kills one or both of the wrestlers, even the spots we’ve seen a million times before.

This match is also rife with plant and payoff. The infamous table that leads to the end of the match is out a quarter of the way in, and the bottle of “lighter fluid” (I strongly believe Edge was dousing himself in water for the finale) follows soon after. Seeing this type of logic is welcome in matches that oftentimes just devolve into madness that seems to have no rhyme or reason. Every weapon and spot serves a purpose and it is a credit to the people involved that they planned their match out to this degree.

The carnage continues as we see many spots that would end a match in PG WWE. Piledrivers, barbed wire bat shots to the head and chest, thumbtacks, barbed wire socks to Edge and Lita. By this point, Foley ends up looking like Rambo. His face half covered in blood with a distant look in his eye as Edge looks terrified while his body is subjected to gruesome torture. Although I can see why WWE has avoided these types of matches since going PG, sometimes I wish they would allow other people (besides Brock Lesnar) to get busted open every once in awhile.

We get to the end of the match, with both Mick and Lita putting copious amounts of actual lighter fluid (you can see the second bottle of what I assume was water on the steps) on the table. Foley gets the WrestleMania exclamation point on his career by taking the spear into the flaming table that will live on in ‘Mania montages until the end of time. Edge walks away as the winner looking like the heroine at the end of Hush. This match feels much shorter than the near fifteen minutes it runs due to the quick pace and cornucopia of brutal spots. Easily the best hardcore match in Wrestlemania history and one that served its purpose not only for entertainment, but meta purposes as well. For putting on a true spectacle on a show made to showcase the best of the best, this moment gets number eight on my countdown.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top Ten Wrestlemania Moments: #9 – Ric Flair’s Curtain Call

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: Shawn Michaels Retires Ric Flair, WrestleMania XXIV

Ric Flair is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. Flair is most likely the best heel in the history of the business, and has the distinct honor of being the only man besides my grandfather that my grandmother ever swore at. His promos throughout his career are some of the most iconic, and despite not being a technical powerhouse, he was able to put so much emotion into his matches that they are some of the easiest to re-watch for newer wrestling fans. While many of contemporaries wrestled a style that could generously be described as watching two behemoths angrily hug in slow motion, Flair was a cartoon character who flew around the ring and begged for his life every night for decades.

In 2008, Flair was in better shape than most men in their 50’s, but he still looked like a hot dog with a thumbnail stuck on the top. It was time for him to hang up the boots, but this was Ric Flair. He still had enough magic to pull out one big match, and why not go out at WrestleMania against another guy who is arguably one of the greats in Shawn Michaels? The video package before this match makes it abundantly clear who’s walking out with the win, which is why despite all the emotion this is at number nine. Everyone knew this was the last dance for the Nature Boy, so the big question was “how good of a match was Naitch capable of having?”

The video package shows Michaels announcing Flair going into the WWE Hall of Fame and a montage of Flair moments, which is kind of weird that they act like he is a beloved figure when much of the package shows him low blowing people, making out with multiple women, and bleeding everywhere. Flair ends up calling out HBK, who has reservations, but almost immediately changes his tune and tells Flair he is going to shoot him behind a woodshed like Old Yeller (Is this how normal friends talk to each other?). Considering HBK will declare his love for his buddy towards the end of the evening, it makes for an awkward package if it’s not the first time you’re watching it.

Despite threatening to euthanize an old man, Michaels gets cheered when he makes his entrance. When Flair enters the crowd gives him the ovation he deserves, and we get a pretty heartbreaking scene of his children. The first crazy meta moment of the match sees the future Women’s Champion Charlotte alongside her late brother Reid. Charlotte has said this night was part of the genesis of her wrestling career, and seeing the late brother who gave her the final push to become a wrestler before his untimely passing adds a weird mix of morbidness and hope to the entrance of their father.

While this is the biggest OMG moment of the early portion of this match there are several subtle ones that make this stand out even further. Charles Robinson (a.k.a. Lil’ Naitch) is appropriately the referee, and he pulls the middle rope down as a sign of respect for his idol. A massive amount of O’s circle the ring as chains of fans make “Woo” signs that stretch across entire sections of the stadium. Flair even manages to look regal in his robe before he reverts to his tights and terrifying “grandpa at a pool” look. Flair hasn’t shown more life in the ring since WCW closed its doors. He starts off by doing some impressive chain wrestling, but Michaels slaps him so hard he starts bleeding from the mouth in a sign of what’s to come.

This beginning of the match does not truly heat up until the second big moment when Shawn takes the sickening moonsault bump onto the side of the table. The table does not collapse, and it looks as though Michaels has broken several ribs five minutes into the match. If you want a moment to show non-wrestling fans of how painful wrestling can be (without resorting to hardcore wrestling), this is the bump to show them. Most critically to the drama of this match, this particular spot makes it seem like Flair may just get lucky and hold off retirement for just a little longer.

Once it’s clear HBK is not going to cough up blood, the match admittedly gets slightly boring. Flair’s offense looks as tired as he does, and besides the signature chops nothing screams that he’s walking away with his arm raised. Despite commentators Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler doing their best to make it sound incredible, Space Mountain looks every bit the Old Yeller Michaels called him. The match eventually boils down to a Ric Flair highlight package, but this is not necessarily bad. Sometimes wrestling is great because things work out the way we want, and I think fans would rather have had Flair go out in a stadium full of people rather than say, bleeding everywhere in a TV studio in Orlando for a paycheck (cough, TNA, cough).

Finally, we get to the third and most poignant moment of the match. In the end Flair really does have it in him to compete with another legendary wrestler, and defeat is written all over his face. Michaels, having diverted from his slightly heelish persona earlier in the match, says the immortal words that will follow both men for eternity.

“I’m sorry. I Love You.”

No real sport has moments like this. The nature of competition means we don’t get two athletes from different eras facing off and allowing this kind of respect. That’s why this match is in such a high regard for many. While seeing Flair’s family is both tragic yet inspiring, and HBK’s horrifying table bump gives you that suspension of disbelief, this real moment between two men who respect the hell out of each other is something you just cannot fake, even in the world of wrestling. We may get players and coaches shaking hands and hugging, but we don’t get Tom Brady apologizing to opponents as he wins a SuperBowl and ends their careers. Flair ends up taking three Sweet Chin Musics like he’s Brock Lesnar, but in the end he goes out better than anyone could have expected. On this historic day, these two men took something incredibly predictable and yet made it both unexpected and timeless.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania Moments: #10 – The Last Dinosaur

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by Frank Lucci

Welcome to Spaceman Frank’s Top 10 WrestleMania moments! Rather than just create another generic Top 10 list, I will be discussing the greatest moments from WWE’s biggest show of the year and explaining why I consider them the cream of the crop. This is based on in-ring quality, storyline quality, meta quality, as well as my own unique bias. Be prepared to read about triumph, heartbreak, and above all else, some truly unique moments in this unique form of entertainment.

The Moment: Hulk Hogan Slams Andre the Giant, WrestleMania III

The Book of Exodus in WWE’s lore, WrestleMania III is an event that will forever be shrouded in mythmaking. Although 78,000 is closer to the actual number of Pontiac Silverdome attendees, WWE claims that 93,000 people got together to worship WWE and more specifically, Hulkamania. Sure, there were other matches (Macho Man/Steamboat) and a slew of celebrities to “ooh” and “ahh” at (Alice Cooper), but the main draw was the bout which set the template for “big match” events: The irresistible force that was Hulk Hogan meeting the immovable object that was Andre the Giant for the WWE (then WWF) Championship.

Finally, after mucking about tag teaming with Mr. T and facing the human pillow King Kong Bundy, we got the first true WrestleMania main event. The night ended with Hogan valiantly slamming the giant and retaining his belt as the lowly giant was carted away with his evil manager Bobby Heenan.

Only that’s not the way I see it. When I watch this match, I see a man crowing over his fallen prey. I see a petulant warrior bragging about shooting the last white rhino. I see the fall of the last dinosaur.

It’s impossible to watch this match from a modern context and not think of all the events that have happened since. Hulk Hogan’s reputation has been irrefutably damaged long before his well publicized sex tape was released. His status as somebody who politicized to keep his spot long after he was worthy is well known, and from that standpoint, it is impossible to not see many of his big moments from 1990 on as the actions of a spoiled child. A leathery, balding child, but a child nonetheless.

Then you have Andre the Giant. Perhaps one of the most legendary figures of modern America. I honestly believe that in 100 years, Andre will be talked about in the same way as Paul Bunyan. Hell, Hogan is one of the first people to make him into a mythological figure. Hogan couldn’t decide what Andre was, as he guessed at his height with a margin of error between 1-12 inches, his weight within several hundred pounds, and the time of his death within several years. Andre the Giant stories are legendary, and the massive man just seemed to collect tale tales as he went along. He could drink more than 100 beers in one sitting. He stole a horse carriage with Dusty Rhodes in Central Park and passed out in a hallway where hotel attendants had to drape him in a piano cover. He’d drink crates of wine and force people to watch The Princess Bride with him. He could flip a car from when he was a teenager in France catching rides with Samuel Beckett. Because he lived in a time without the Internet, we will simply never know how much of Andre’s life was actually true, which may be the key ingredient as to why he is so special. These myths and his untimely death in 1993 ensured that Andre would never see the fall from grace Hogan and many others in the professional wrestling business have suffered.

Which brings us back to WrestleMania III. Watching in a modern bubble, we get a video package explaining this match. We find out Andre is justifiably mad that his buddy Hogan gets all the accolades for being champ for three years while he gets a passing mention that he has been undefeated for 15 years. There are many ridiculous things about this. Jesse Ventura’s Buckwheat shirt, Rowdy Roddy Piper’s portrait standing in the background, Hogan refusal to face his friend due to the honest to God fear the man has of Andre. That fear suddenly receding once Hogan gave perhaps the hammiest “Yes” in television history.

None of that matters once the two square off. Admittedly, Hogan looks pretty damn heroic as one of the few men to walk to the ring at WrestleMania III as opposed to taking the cart. Meanwhile, Andre gets pelted with boos and garbage despite the fact that he had to undergo back surgery to even attempt this match. Ventura speaks for all modern fans wondering why Andre never received a title shot in 15 years while Gorilla Monsoon meekly counters with “Well, he never asked.” Although a plausible statement (would you tell him “No?”), Ventura responds brilliantly with “Does thunder boom or does it ask for permission first, Monsoon?”

At this point, when the match starts, is precisely when this becomes one of many favorite WrestleMania moments. The reason it’s not higher on this list is, quite frankly, the in-ring action is awful by today’s standards. It is a zero. That said, taking in all the outside factors, it is hard to not feel something during this match. Not for the hero Hulk Hogan, but the visibly in pain Andre. It only takes a few minutes before the Giant makes his camp by the ring posts and ropes so he can lean on them to support his planetary weight. Andre barely moves during the match, and when he steps around the ring it is with small ones. The only impressive thing I can say is that, despite knowing Andre is nowhere near 100-percent, he tosses Hogan around like he was nothing. No doubt the stories of him losing his cool and flipping cars are possible, but this is not the story of the aging veteran getting his chance to shine at The Show of Shows, this is the story of the overblown doofus slamming a massive human being and keeping his belt as the last dinosaur rides away in shame as a fresh wave of garbage hits him.

From here, Hogan would continue to reach amazing heights in professional wrestling while Andre’s health continued to deteriorate. While Hogan’s real-life antics eventually came to light and damaged his reputation beyond repair, Andre has since become canonized as the patron saint of wrestling. No one can, or ever will match how much Andre has done for the business in terms of being a pillar to make people believe that this is something worthy of speculation and adulation.

One final Andre myth sticks with me when I watch this match. Late in life, Andre bought a ranch with many animals on it. When asked by longtime friend and former WWE referee Tim White about it, Andre said he liked being around animals. You see, they were the only things that did not stare at him like a freak or a monster. That was the lasting legacy of one of the kindest, most mythical legends the WWE leaves behind in their cannon, while an orange bozo gets all the glory.

God bless you Andre the Giant. Although this is one of the biggest WrestleMania moments of all time, I just wish that after 15 years, you wound up squashing Hogan and got your chance to shine in that massive stadium.

For more of Spaceman Frank’s antics, check out Spacemanfrank.com and listen to our pro wrestling podcast, Manopera!

 

 

Podcast, Pro Wrestling

SSEP – Episode 8: NFL Offseason / UFC 209 Preview / This Week In WWE

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SSEP returns as Jon and Matt hit on NFL offseason news, a UFC 209 preview and this week in WWE, including a Fastlane preview and early ‘Mania speculations.

Donate to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/thebonesaw.

Podcast, Pro Wrestling

Manopera! Episode 35: A Friendship Dies, the Era of Wyatt Begins

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This past week was full of surprises in the world of WWE. Chris and Spaceman Frank tackle Jeri-KO’s tragic split on Raw, Elimination Chamber and the Chamber fallout on Smackdown Live! This episode is dedicated to the memory of George “The Animal” Steele.

Donate to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/thebonesaw.

Pro Wrestling

Spaceman Frank’s Elimination Chamber Predictions

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by Frank Lucci

The first SmackDown! Live solo live special feels like a nice little Pay-Per-View. It does not feel like a huge deal, but considering this is a stepping stone to WrestleMania WWE has done a good job in two weeks to make this a worthy watch. WWE has noticeably focused on having multiple women matches, which is smart because the Smackdown women’s division is one of their biggest strengths. Throw in MY BOY LUKE HARPER getting a shot at Royal Rumble winner Randy Orton and this event has Spaceman Frank salivating. Here are my Elimination Chamber 2017 predictions!

Mojo Rawley vs. Curt Hawkins (Kickoff Time-Filler Spectacular)

This match came about in about 40 seconds when Hawkins made fun of Patriots tight end/Buffalo native Rob Gronkowski, who is buddies with Mojo. WWE put about 87 seconds of thought into this, so I will do the same. Unless Gronk shows up, I do not care. Mojo wins because Hawkins has the heat of ice cream at this point.

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

These ladies have done a good job of imitating Nikki’s last feud with Carmella, with the two ladies just brawling 24/7 to protect Nikki’s allegedly hurt neck. With the Bella sister rumored for a tag match with her man John Cena for WrestleMania as well as time off/retirement rumors, it is likely Natalya will be eating the pin here. While Nattie Ice has been better as a heel, I really want her to cart out Tyson Kidd to give him something to do as well as coach her on how to do his NXT gimmick so she can actually succeed.

Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James

Another grudge match sees Lynch stepping away from the title picture to take on the returning veteran Mickie James. James looks amazing and is a much needed shot in the arm for the division, and Raw needs a similar vet to come back to mix up the division and get some new matchups on television. However, I do not see James as SmackDown! Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss’ henchwomen for long, and I would like to see her in the title picture sooner rather than later. Mickie wins in what is essentially a toss-up for The Spaceman.

American Alpha (Chad Gable and Jason Jordan) (c) vs. Heath Slater and Rhyno vs. Breezango (Fandango and Tyler Breeze) vs. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) vs. The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor) vs. The Vaudevillains (Aiden English and Simon Gotch) Tag Team Turmoil Match for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championships

Well that is a busy headline, isn’t it? The SmackDown! Live tag team scene has been a hot mess, and the fact that we do not get a PPV American Alpha vs. Wyatt Family match speaks volumes on where the WWE sees the division currently. Not that I don’t think this will be fun, but besides when new champs are crowned, there has been little to latch onto between all these teams. American Alpha is the best team out of all of these guys, and I do not think there is any reason for them to lose anytime soon. Can we get a champ vs. champ tag team match between Raw and SmackDown! at ‘Mania to give these guys something significant to do? Alpha wins because AMERICA.

Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Naomi (WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship)

Naomi gets another shot at the belt after her previous push was halted due to injury. I appreciate the continuity, and her split-legged moonsault is a thousand times better than the bum to the face. Naomi is not bad by any means, but she does not scream “champion” to me. If it wasn’t for my obsession with Total Divas I would have a zero read on her personality. Bliss is simply too good to lose the belt now, and should carry the belt to Mania. Bliss wins and gives us even more gifs of resting Bliss face for the internet to enjoy.

Luke Harper vs. Randy Orton

IT’S WESTERN NEW YORK’S MAIN EVENT! Seriously it is crazy to me that a guy I use to live ten minutes away from is wrestling the Royal Rumble winner in a PPV match before WrestleMania. Harper has been on fire since Orton joined the Wyatts, and I really, really hope he does well here. The crowd seems to be buying into his babyface push too, which has me hoping he can get to the next level and sneak into the Intercontinental title scene or even further. After all, the best way to get him to show true babyface colors is to get him a real shirt and trim his facial hair. As much as I am incredibly bias towards Harper…he is here to lose. Furthermore, he is here to do an abbreviated blow off towards his feud with Randy so Orton can move on to ‘Mania mode. Much like my house show experience when Harper would get his 15 minutes of hero worship in Rochester, he will take on a big name, get an incredible near fall, and then eat the pin.

John Cena (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin vs. Bray Wyatt (Elimination Chamber Match for WWE Championship)

There’s lots to break down here, so I’ll just go from who I think has the least chance to win to the most chance to win. To start, Dean Ambrose is already Intercontinental champ (I was really hoping Harper would get the nod here to add a bit more drama to the match, but the above singles match works also). Ambrose is here to start the match first, provide several hardcore spots for the crowd and then get eliminated 40 minutes in.

The Miz is here to set up his ‘Mania match with John Cena (if the rumors are true), probably by pinning the champ in a shocking twist. I’m fine with main event Miz at this point, but he’s not getting the belt. I just said Cena will get pinned by Miz, and it would be insanity for him to face Orton at Mania considering they just had their 21st match against each other on SmackDown! last Tuesday.

A.J. Styles is a wild card as he has history with lots of these dudes but no solid direction going forward. He and Baron Corbin seem like runners up for this match, and it would actually be kind of cool to see these guys face off. I am not completely sold on the rumored ‘Mania match between Styles and Shane McMahon, and Corbin deserves better than getting dumped into the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, so why not have these dudes beat the piss out of each other at the Grandaddy of ’em All?

That leaves Bray Wyatt, who is the obvious and smartest choice to win. Sometimes the best choice is the clear choice, and Orton vs. Bray for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania feels right. It’s about time Wyatt gets singles gold, and after years of being the guy main eventers beat up between title shots, he deserves a chance to be the head honcho. Wyatt wins and we get some good television for the next few weeks.

Pro Wrestling

Baron Corbin is WWE’s Dark Horse

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Credit: Ratededgesuperstar via Deviant Art

Heading into his first WWE Pay-Per-View main event this Sunday at Elimination Chamber, Baron Corbin will be the one to watch once those chamber doors lock.

Since his main roster debut last year, Corbin has been a work in progress, doing very little to nothing of notice until last year’s brand split. As he toiled in the undercard, there wasn’t much to be said about the Lone Wolf until his Chairs match with Kalisto at TLC in December.

Corbin came off as a monster, and with the help of the Lucha Dragon, managed to turn a presumed “throwaway match” into one of the more talked about bouts of the evening. Long story short: the WWE Universe discovered how much the big man has improved since his NXT days.

Since then, SmackDown Live has been subtly plugging Corbin into the main event scene with quick, dominant run-ins, giving him more promo time and most recently, matches with top guys such as John Cena and Dean Ambrose.

This past SmackDown, the Lone Wolf won a Fatal Four Way against three of his other Elimination Chamber competitors, but it wasn’t just the rub and being put over that makes WWE’s big plans clear, it’s who Corbin pinned that tells the story.

WWE could have had Corbin pin Ambrose, or even The Miz. Most watching may have guessed Corbin’s inclusion was to take the pin rather than walk away with it. Instead, WWE brass had Corbin go over A.J. Styles, and that says a lot.

While odds are the Lone Wolf won’t walk out of the Elimination Chamber with WWE gold (it’s rumored that Bray Wyatt will finally win the WWE Championship), his booking suggests that he will have a run with the title in the near future.

To make a bold prediction, expect the Lone Wolf to win the Money in the Bank Ladder Match in June en-route to successfully cashing in his briefcase to become champion sometime after SummerSlam.

Podcast, Pro Wrestling

Manopera! Episode 34: ‘Member The Rumble?

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rr2017

In honor of Bonesaw Entertainment’s two-year anniversary, Chris and Spaceman Frank talk the ‘member berry madness of Royal Rumble 2017.

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