by Frank Lucci
WWE is already looking to 2018, but fans still have one last PPV to endure before the year is over. Nobody is expecting much from this event, and really who can blame them considering most of the hype has been “hey this is happening…is that cool with everyone?” At least it will be watchable, if not somewhat entertaining. I’m Spaceman Frank and here are my prediction for Clash of Champions 2017.
Mojo Rawley vs. Zack Ryder (preshow thing that is happening)
The hype brothers explode in such fury that this cannot even make the preshow. 2017 has been the year of tag team breakups, so I guess getting even a preshow match out of this is better than, say, a Golden Truth situation. Mojo is the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal winner…so he’s got that going for him. Meanwhile, Ryder is occasionally relevant. Sooooo…Mojo wins? Yeah, Mojo wins.
Bludgeon Bros. vs. Breezeango
Is watching Breezango wrestle what could be a serious match better than a Fashion Files segment? Probably not. Smackdown is capable of booking comedy tag teams well (see Heath Slater and Rhyno) but if they were going to do anything with Breezango it would have happened so months ago. Meanwhile, The Bros. are the hot new tag team that is neither new nor hot. But it has my boy Luke Harper (or just Harper now I guess) so they win here.
Baron Corbin (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Bobby Roode (United States Championship Triple Threat Match)
Hey remember when Bobby Roode was one of the members of Team Smackdown and maybe moved past getting stuck in the Bermuda Dolph-angle? (Copyright pending on that name) now they are sucking in Baron, who is here to show off the latest pair of pants he made from another pair of pants. I can’t see anyone caring about this match, so Corbin wins so he looks like someone who may be a thing at some point.
The Usos (c) vs. The New Day vs. Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin vs. Rusev and Aiden English (Tag Team Championships Fatal Four-Way Match)
What should be the match of the night sees excellent tag teams come to blows mostly to eat up time in the best way possible. Chad and Shelton (I assume at this point the last names have been dropped) started this feud off as the hot team, but the sudden rise of Rusev and Aiden (again, last name gone, probably) makes me think they might be the team to beat. I am not sure if they will get the belts, but I am all in on Rusev having something to do. Especially if it leads to a face turn for the Bulgarian. The Usos are the true heels here, so I think so cheating and blind tags happen and they retain.
Charlotte (c) vs. Natalya (Women’s Championship)
This rematch sees Nattie Ice try to get her belt back to impress her cats. Meanwhile, Charlotte may have Rhonda Rousey and the rest of the Four Horsewomen of MMA to deal with in the future. I wonder who is going to win. Charlotte wins because she can.
Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens
This match is special because Daniel Bryan is stepping back into the ring…as a special second ref. Oh, and Zayn and Big Kev will be fired if they lose but who believes that? Seriously who cause Zayn is in the admittedly curious Mixed Match tournament so he isn’t getting fired. I can see this as a way to ease Bryan into a more physical role. Both to see if he can handle it and to keep him happy so he does not free to ROH when he gets a chance. I see Orton being a dick, trying to cheat, Bryan confronting him, Orton attacking and getting his team disqualified. Meanwhile, Shinsuke gets to be a person also in this match.
AJ Styles (c) vs. Jinder Mahal (WWE Championship)
The match everyone has been clamoring for returns! Jinder was so great at being champ that his sole appearance at Survivor Series was a talking head interview and the tour of India saw him lose in the sole night of the tour. At least he has his hard body and Singh Brothers. Seeing where Mahal lands in 2018 is a big mystery, but for now, WWE goes with their best guy as champ. AJ wins and maybe the WWE champ gets to headline a PPV in 2018.